Full Of Grace
by Romeo's Waiting
Summary: When you live in the real world, you can’t go turning back the clock. AU PDLD
1. Sweet Surrender

**_Important authors note: Before you start reading this story there's a bit of background information that you need to know. This story was first inspired by the song 'Full of Grace' by Sarah McLachlan (hence the title), and so every chapter I hope will be a different song. The second inspiration was the movie 'Pretty Woman'. _**

_**Now this is an AU fic, and you need to know that everything up to 'Blame Booze and Melville' happened except that Mitchum told her she was doing good and so her and Logan never stole the yacht, never went to jail and she never dropped out of Yale. Now here's where the AU part comes in, everything that has happened on the show to Rory happened in my story to Brooke, her stepsister! Now you're probably wondering how that happened…well Christopher got another girl pregnant when he got Lorelai pregnant and that's why they broke up. Brooke was raised in Connecticut by Lorelai, and Rory was raised in California by Chris and her mom (who I haven't decided on a name for yet). This is a new way to think of Rory and she'd very ooc in this story. **_

_**This first chapter might be a little confusing but please hang in there because everything will get explained in the following chapters. Oh and by the way this is a PDLD! Go Finn! **_

_**Now on with the story… **_

_**Full Of Grace**_  
Chapter One: Sweet Surrender

_It doesn't mean much  
It doesn't mean anything at all  
The life I've left behind me  
Is a cold room  
I've crossed the last line  
From where I can't return  
Where every step I took in faith  
Betrayed me  
And led me from my home_

_

* * *

_  
The night was rainy and cold, as a tarnished looking bus pulled to a stop on a deserted street corner. The driver called to the few passengers on board, not knowing if any had to get off. A man dressed in a black business suit shook his head vehemently and then lowered it back down to cradle it in his hands again. An old woman continued staring out the window, an umbrella lying on her lap and muttered something about the dreaded rain in Connecticut. Behind her, cuddled up to the side of the bus, was a young girl. Her hair was flat and pressed to her face, her cheeks were a little sunken and her skin was pale. She slowly pushed herself up and onto her feet, staggering slightly but she managed to maintain her balance. She walked down the narrow isle right towards the driver who had, up until now, been staring outside his window. He turned quickly though when she passed and he reached his hand out, stopping her before she could get off.

"You going to be okay miss?" he asked his voice gruff but worried.

The girl looked down at his hand, grasping her wrist snugly and then positioned her gaze up at him. She nodded her head slightly and gave him a tiny smile. "I hope so," she told him and he let go of her hand.

The bus drove away from the curb, leaving the young woman alone. She looked around her, as if for the first time noticing how empty the city was. The night was cloudy and dark, with a bitter wind howling around the corners of streets with steady drops of rain falling from the sky. She paused in her attempt to start walking and looked down at her outfit. She cursed herself as her bare legs started to tremble and were instantly covered in goose flesh, her dress beginning to get spotted from the rain. On their own accord, her fingers skimmed down the front of her dress and played with the fraying hemline, which ended a couple inches below her thighs. She couldn't believe how stupid she was, wearing something like this in the middle of January. She wasn't in California anymore…

The young girl continued in her first attempt on starting the long journey she'd set out on. She crossed over the street, not before looking both ways even though there weren't any cars. She knew in her heart where she was to go but in her mind, the only sensible part left of her, she knew not to go knocking on Brooke's door right now. She would have to resign herself to finding another place to sleep for the night. Which she knew would be damn near impossible when it was past midnight and she didn't have any money. Her last few dollars had been spent on her bus ticket. She once again found herself wanting to scream out of frustration. She had no where to go, no money and no food and she was in a city she'd only been two a couple of times before. She sighed out loud and pushed her hair back from her face, she knew now wasn't the time to get lost in thoughts of how stupid and naïve she was. She had always been a firm believer that the past was the past and you can't live your whole life regretting every stupid decision you made, because then you weren't really living your life, you were trying to re-live it. And re-living life is just like having a second chance…it doesn't exist. When you live in the real world, you can't go turning back the clock.

The week before, Rory had hopped on a bus from Los Angeles and started making her way across the country. She laughed wryly when she thought about how daft and ludicrous that decision was. She'd spent all the money she had –which wasn't a lot- to go from one state to another, from one place where she had no future to another place where she would find the exact same thing.

She leaned back against a lone street sign, quiet until she felt that familiar tickle in her throat. Rory started to cough uncontrollably for a minute or two before getting it under control. As she caught her breath she tried to figure out where she was. The night was still and empty, only a few lights were on in the apartment buildings and houses that Rory could see. There weren't any cars on the street at all and no one walking along in either direction. She felt alone in a city that was sleeping, and she wasn't used to that. She'd lived with the rowdy night life of L.A. for almost three years and the quiet seemed wrong somehow.

She walked forward a few feet, bringing her hands up to her head, messing up her already tousled hair. As she turned around her eyes caught the name of the street perpendicular to the one she was standing on.

York Street.

Why did that sound so familiar to her? She couldn't think at the moment, she couldn't make her mind concentrate on anything other then the iciness of her body, the dull throb in her head and the constant itch in the back of her throat. She rubbed her fingers against her forehead, racking her brain for why that street sounded so familiar.

And then it came to her.

Rory's head shot up and she turned around to face the street, taking in a ragged breath before she started running down it, a faint hope burning in the pit of her stomach. She didn't know how long she ran, but it felt like miles, until she saw the faded outline of a very imposing building appear. Her lips twitched into the ghost of a smile and she forced herself to run faster.

Rory tore across the street, not even bothering to look for cars this time, and didn't stop until she got to the set of gates separating her from the campus. Rory brought her hand up and ran it over the chipped metal, feeling the black paint give away under her skin. She brought her gaze from the campus to her hand, it was shaking non stop. She knew it was from the rain and the cold, because her teeth were chattering two and her body felt like a freezer box.

"Lovely."

Rory's whole body froze when she heard that one word. She heaved a sigh, trying to calm her heartbeat as it soared of the scale. She turned herself around, still holding onto the bar. A man dressed in black pants, a grey shirt and a black jacket was walking up the street towards the gates also.

Finn stopped walking when he saw the young girl staring at him. He didn't recognize her from anywhere but he didn't find that surprising. Something about her screamed that she wasn't from around here. His chocolate brown eyes widened when he let them skim over her body, shivering in the tiny, mini dress she was wearing. His eyes then traveled to her outstretched arm and her hand that had a death grip on the iron gate. Her delicate hand was shaking viscously and her knuckles were turning white. The parts of her skin that he could see were bright red from the cold and the wind.

Rory was the first to look away after their eyes locked. She felt them on her still and she bit her lip and turned to look down the street behind her. She frowned slightly as she assessed the situation –she didn't know if she was strong enough to get away from him if he tried anything, and that thought scared her more then she liked. Rory gulped down, trying to fight against the growing lump in her throat.

Finn took a step towards her, weary of the scared look in her eyes. He watched as her gaze shifted from him to behind her and then back again, her hooded eyes the colour of blue tropical waters. She looked like an animal backed into a corner and ready to run. He slowly took another, larger step in her direction and was about to take another when she suddenly ripped her hand from the bar and backed up a couple of paces.

Finn immediately stopped moving. He didn't know what to do in this situation. He watched her, with his head tilted to the side. She was like a mysterious shadow, and his curiosity was peaked. He wanted to know who she was, why she was alone and outside at this time of the night. He wanted to know why she was dressed that way and he wanted to know if she was okay. Because the panicky look on her face, and the edginess in her body screamed that she wasn't.

"You okay love?" Finn asked, his voice making her flinch. The girl before him didn't say anything and Finn sighed. He brought a hand up and pushed it through his hair. He was about to ask her again when he saw the face contort as she struggled against something. His hazel eyes widened and he unconsciously came closer to her but Rory didn't notice as she bent over again, her throat flaming up as she started to cough.

Finn winced at the raucous sound and the bright red colour of her face. He watched as her eyes closed, her forehead wrinkling, one hand clutching her stomach and the other tight against her throat. He quickly walked over to her, and placed his hand on her back, not knowing what else to do. Finn felt her immediately tense but she didn't pull away and so he gently rubbed her back, hoping it might help her.

It seemed to do just that, as Rory's coughing died down. Finn look relieved that she was okay but he was behind her and didn't see her face screw up in disgust as she tasted the metallic tang of blood. Rory quickly swallowed it and then wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her dress. Then she turned her head to look over her shoulder. The man standing behind her, with his hand still pressed against her back, eyes were clouded with concern and worry and Rory didn't know how to respond to that. She hadn't had a guy look at her like that in a long time.

"You okay?" Finn asked again, narrowing his eyes on her.

Rory only nodded her head, not trusting her voice. She felt her body slightly relax against his hand and her eyes widened. She roughly pulled herself away from him, only turning back around when she thought she was a safe distance from him.

Finn let his hand rest back by his side; he couldn't stop the crestfallen look from entering his eyes. This girl seemed so lost, so sad and he just wanted to know why. But then he understood. She obviously didn't trust him; I mean a strange man comes up to you in the middle of the night… Finn shoved his hands in his pockets and tried a different approach. "Are you trying to get in there?" he asked, gesturing with his head towards the campus.

Rory nodded her head once again. A flash of curiosity entered her eyes, fighting against the fear. She didn't understand what this man wanted. She'd seen him look over her when she'd first turned around but he didn't seem to question her outfit. She wanted to think that he looked genuinely concerned about her, and that there was no ulterior motive, but she couldn't.

"You're not gonna get in here love. They lock these gates but there are ones just down there that are open," Finn told her. She seemed to be having some sort of inner debate with herself. "I can take you there. If you want?" Finn asked.

Rory closed her eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply. When she looked back at him he had his earlier question burning in his eyes. She resigned herself for another night of the same thing she'd been doing for two years. Rory folded her arms across her stomach and met his russet eyes. "Okay," she whispered so quietly she wasn't sure if he'd hear her.

Finn did though and he smiled genuinely at her, glad that she seemed okay enough to talk. He could still see the fear in her eyes but it was slowly being pushed back, almost like she was putting up some sort of shield to protect herself. Finn didn't question her he just turned around after motioning her to follow him. After he'd walked a couple of feet and he didn't feel her presence behind him, Finn turned around to see her standing in the same place. She was fingering the material of her dress between her fingers and looking around cautiously. Finn walked back to her, stopping when he was within two feet. He slowly reached out, leaving his open hand in front of her, waiting for her to grasp it.

Rory always needed a minute or two to collect herself. She needed a little time to talk herself into what she was going to do. Needed time to shut herself down because she was never able to make herself think it was a good idea. She had to bury the fear that always dwelled inside her; she had to put on an air of a professional. Sha had to make herself numb, not get involved with it because that made it real and she didn't want it to be real, she wasn't ready for that.

Rory forced herself into giving him a smile. She moved her hand into his and walked over to his side. She knew he obviously didn't buy the smile she gave him but she didn't do anything to placate the worry shining freely in his eyes. She wouldn't know how to if she was to try. And so she just started to walk and he quickly followed suit.

As she walked down the street with this man, Rory's mind started to go completely blank –as it usually did when she put herself in these sorts of situations. At first all she could think about was what she knew was going to happen later on. It was odd how it seemed so wrong and scary when she was in a different state. Back in L.A. she wouldn't have hesitated, she wouldn't have thought of fleeing but here… This wasn't her own turf, and that made it scarier because in her mind, that gave the man the upper hand.

She was soon broken out of her thoughts when the man in question tightened his grip on her hand. Her eyes shot down towards it and she felt warmth spread throughout her entire body. Rory let her curiosity get the best of her and she quickened her pace so she was walking beside him rather then getting pulled behind. She turned her head so that she could look at him more closely. In the dim light provided by strategically places lamp posts, Rory could only make out a shadow of his face. He looked to be around her age, early twenties, but it was the worry she remembered seeing in his eyes that warmed her up even more. She couldn't remember the last time someone had been worried about her, well some stranger at least.

All of a sudden the man turned a tight corner and Rory almost tripped over her own feet, but she managed to remain vertical. As she came back to her senses she looked up and saw that they were standing in front of another building, much like the one before.

"Where you going then, love?" Finn asked, stopping when they got into the campus. He turned to see her and he watched her look around for a moment. "You going to Branford?" he asked, recalling the building he'd found her outside of.

Rory nodded her head, glad that he seemed to know. She couldn't remember the name of the building but Branford did sound familiar. "What's this?" she asked her voice raspy and scratching at her throat.

"Berkeley," Finn stated and then turned towards the building, Rory following suit, their hands still intertwined. "My dorm here's. You can get cleaned up there if you like?" he asked, pausing to look over his shoulder at her.

Rory inwardly winced at those words but she didn't let it show. She'd become a master at hiding her feelings over the years. She'd been taught by many people that emotions are weakness and weakness is a liability, one she couldn't afford. But as she walked with the man towards the building she realized that hiding how she felt was becoming a lot harder then it used to be.

She was once again jarred out of her thoughts by a loud noise and she whipped her head to the side, her eyes wide and shoulders tensed. That noise seemed to clue her in a bit more. Not only to how dangerous her whole life was, but how much danger she was putting herself in at the moment. She was willingly following a complete stranger to his dorm room where she would have no escape.

Finn looked over at the girl in front of him, an apologetic look plastered on his face. He held his palm flat against the door and motioned for her to go in first. He saw her hesitate a moment longer before she walked through, her small feet moving quickly. Finn walked in behind her, letting go of the door that he'd pushed against the wall only seconds before. He watched the girl shuffle on her feet and he couldn't help but let his own thoughts swarm in for a moment. He had surprised himself when he offered her to come back to his dorm. He'd been ready to take it back in an instant; I mean what type of freak offers a strange girl to go back with him to his place? But he'd been absolutely floored when she'd started walking to the building. She hadn't accepted his invitation really, but she didn't look like she was denying it.

"So love, you gonna tell a fella why you were out so late at night?" he asked, leading her down the hall. He thought if only he could get her talking then maybe he could get some answers to the million questions fleeting through his mind.

Rory didn't say anything to that, but his question did spark something inside of her. She watched him walk along beside her, could see that he wanted to know more about her or at least something. She then realized that this wasn't what she'd thought it was. **This man wasn't taking her up to his room to use her, he was taking her there to get her out of the cold, off the street, out of the kindness of his heart and it made her smile slightly. (Summary)**

Finn couldn't help but ask the one question that kept coming back to him. "Not that I don't mind you coming back with me pet, but there must be somewhere you're being expected?"

Rory frowned at his words. There were so many answers to that question. She had been expected by her mother for the past couples of years, her 'friends' had been expecting her for the past week…but what really dug at her was that Brooke had been expecting her to come back here for the past year. "I don't have a place to go, not tonight," she told him, not looking for his reaction. She didn't want to find more sympathy in his eyes or pity, because she knew that would weaken her already crumbling defences. This week had been too hard on her heart and her mind. She didn't know how much longer she could hold herself up right without breaking down.

Finn almost stopped walking at her confession. He could tell by the feebleness in her voice how upset she was. But he could also detect a hint of guilt and he couldn't help wondering how she felt this was her fault. He knew know that his earlier guess at the fact that she wasn't from around here was right. If she had nowhere to go, then home definitely wasn't around here for her.

Finn smiled at her reassuringly and led her to a staircase and then right to his dorm. They were about to walk in when he saw her curl her arms around her stomach and her frown intensify. He thought she was going to have another cough attack but when nothing happened it made another thought pop into his head. "Say when was the last time you had anything to eat?" he asked, smiling genuinely at her.

Rory looked up at him, her frown melting away as she thought about food right now. She'd been living off of whatever money she could find or get from other people. The thought of having an actual meal made her stomach rumble quietly. "I'm starved," she told him, purposefully not answering his actual question as they walked into the rather large dorm.

"Well what do you feel like? I can make you anything." Finn took off his jacket and shoes and quickly opened a closet and stashed them in there, grabbing a towel for her but she declined.

Rory gave him a suspicious look. "Do you usually make dinner for strange girls you meet at night?" she asked him, half seriously.

Finn laughed and it made her heart flutter. "No," he told her evenly. "I also make dinner for strange men," he called over his shoulder and smiled when he heard her laugh at his comment. "Listen love, all I want is to help you out. I swear there's no hidden agenda."

"Well you sure are campaigning for man of the year," she said, feeling herself relax around him. It was weird but right at that moment she felt like she'd known this man her whole life, when in reality it hadn't even been an hour.

"Can I count on your vote?" he asked sarcastically, loving how they'd been able to fall into such harmless banter.

"Maybe?" she told him coyly. Rory walked further into the common room and looked around a second before focussing on him again. "So what do you feel like?" she asked.

Finn just smiled at her and made a sweeping gesture at the small kitchen area behind him. "You're choice, love. Although I am going to tell you that we don't have much here…" he whispered like it was some big secret.

Rory laughed good-heartedly and it surprised her. She hadn't laughed this much in a long time and it felt really good. "Well then I might just have to go take my business somewhere else," she told him in a pseudo snooty voice.

"Actually love this isn't business and second," he said, leaning back against the counter dividing the kitchen from the common room. "You've never been hear before so I doubt you'd be able to find anywhere to serve you at this hour."

Rory smiled at his assessment of her and she felt herself warming up even more. "I actually have been here before," she informed him.

"Never hurts to be wrong," Finn said. He hoped that since she'd been here before she knew someone. The idea of her being alone here made him uneasy. "I don't want this to come out wrong but love; if you want you can stay here tonight."

Rory wasn't shocked by his suggestion, to tell the truth she'd been expecting it…but not for the same reasons. She was certain now that this man didn't want anything from her but she didn't let herself completely trust him. But Rory did know that unless she wanted to sleep on a bench somewhere she had no other option for the night. "Sure," she responded.

Finn smiled. He liked that she seemed to trust him a little and was more then happy that he'd get to find out more about her. "How about we start with some coffee?" he asked and Rory nodded, almost drooling at the thought of the heavenly beverage.

Rory stood in the same place as he turned and walked into the kitchen and started to fix two coffees for them. She shifted on her feet awkwardly for a second before her eyes shot towards a black couch just a few meters away. She thought about whether it would be rude if she were to go make herself comfortable without him telling her to. But then she argued that he'd offered to let her stay the night and she would have to stay somewhere.

Slowly she walked over to it and sat down, pulling at her bottom of her dress as it rose an inch or so. She looked back over at the man it the kitchen. She wasn't scared of him, not anymore, but the thought was still playing at the back of her mind. _What if he was lying? _

She stretched her legs out and rested her feet on the edge of the coffee table. Lowering her chest to her knee's she hugged them in a position she'd come to think of as familiar. She tried not to let that one panic driven thought overpower her. She looked over at the man, just watching him. The way he was dressed screamed that he had money and she'd known a lot of guys who had money before. But there was something about him that made her want to trust him completely and she wasn't sure if she liked that or not. She almost jumped when he turned around and caught her staring at him. One of his eyebrows rose in a silent question and his eyes seemed to draw her in.

"You okay love?"

Rory didn't answer him as all her senses were focussed slowly on the way the light from the kitchen shone down on him, letting her see him clearly for the first time that night. Her eyes started at his hand that was holding one of the coffee cups, the tips of his fingers touching playing against the ceramic. She traveled up his arm, which had once been covered by his black jacket. His skin was tanned and his bicep was big and tense. She gulped loudly as she brought her eyes to his face. She let them wander over the dimple in his chin, the fullness of his bottom lip, his high cheekbones and right up to his beautiful brown eyes. She gasped, he was gorgeous.

Finn watched Rory as she stared at him. The fact of knowing that she was checking him out made his stomach tighten and his heart start to pound. He didn't understand this reaction he was having towards her. It definitely wasn't something new to have a girl look at him, but he'd never felt like this because of it. Although, Finn didn't let this chance pass him by. He'd only up until now seen her in the darkness outside and he let his eyes travel over her form. She looked mostly like a lot of the girls who went to Yale with him. But there was something about her. Finn couldn't put his finger on it. She might be a bit to skinny, her eyes to forlorn or cheeks to sunken. But she was beautiful, so much that Finn almost forgot to breathe as he took in everything about her. Her long brown hair that was wet and plastered to her face, her pouting pink lips, her pacific blue eyes…

Without taking his eyes off of her, Finn walked over to the couch and sat down next to her. He saw her hands instantly go to the hem of her dress, pulling it down a bit more. He smiled, liking that she was self-conscious around him, not that she had to be. He quirked an eyebrow when he let his eyes roam over her exposed legs and down to her knee high lace up boots. A million different images popped into his head at the sight of them but he forced himself to look away, gathering himself together.

"I'm fine," Rory finally responded to his question, her cheeks turning pink under his intense scrutiny.

Finn nodded and handed one of the coffee cups he had in his hands over to her. He watched as she wrapped her hands around it and brought it to her mouth, breathing in the aroma first before puckering her lips and taking a rather large sip. He was about to warn her that it was hot but she didn't seem to notice as her face softened and a satisfied smile came over her lips. He'd only seen one other person worship coffee so much and that thought made him grin…but it was easily covered up by a frown.

"Oh I'm such a dolt!" he exclaimed, smacking a hand against his forehead and almost spilling his coffee in the process.

Rory on the other hand practically jumped out of her skin at his outburst. She closed her eyes for a second, breathing in and out and trying to calm her erratic heartbeat. She opened her eyes and turned to look at him, a look of confusion and slight fear in her eyes. "What?" she asked meekly.

Finn's hand reached out on its own accord and planted itself on her shoulder. He felt relieved when he found that her skin wasn't anywhere near as freezing as it had been before and that her dress was quickly drying. "Sorry love," he purred making her blush. "I just don't know where all my years of perfect breeding went."

Rory's eyebrows scrunched up together in confusion and she mulled over that sentence in her hand before giving up. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I don't even know you're name love," he told her, tilting his head to the side to see her reaction better.

Rory had to bite her tongue to stop the normal answer she would give to this question from coming out. 'Anything you want it to be' definitely was not something he wanted to hear, she could tell. "Rory," she told him shyly.

"I'm Finn," he announced, puffing out his chest like it was a big deal. His pose deflated though when she snorted into her cup. He raised an eyebrow at her but she just kept laughing quietly. "Something wrong with my name love?"

Rory blushed but held his gaze. "Isn't it some part of a fish?" she asked.

Finn laughed wholeheartedly and stretched himself out on the couch, with his arm running along the back and by her shoulders. He watched for her reaction, which was to tense complete first before relaxing. He was pleased when she leaned back, his arm brushing up against her and the connection sent a shock through the both of them.

"So pet," he said all of a sudden and Rory breathed in sharply. She would have to get herself used to his outbursts. She knew she was a little too jumpy for her own good. "Where'd you come from?" he asked bluntly.

Rory smiled at the manner of his question but her frown came back. She knew what that question would eventually lead to and she really didn't want to get into detail about her past. She shifted a little, uncomfortably, on the couch and averted her gaze while she answered. "California."

Finn raised his eyebrows and let out a low whistle, gathering her attention again. "Long way from home pet," he said off-handily.

Rory didn't meet his eyes this time either as she answered, instead she stared transfixed on a random spot on the wall. "Yeah, well home's not really a place I want to be right now."

Finn pulled a face at her response and he was about to ask her about it but he noticed the distant look she was sporting and the rigid form of her back and he decided not to. He understood not wanting to talk about certain things about your past, because he could relate to that. "I get you kitten," he said, leaning back, relaxing completely.

Rory inwardly melted at that term of endearment. She never knew one word could bring her to her knees but it seemed that one could. She looked over at him, her curiosity getting the best of her. "What do you mean?" she asked, wanting to know more about this mystery man.

"My family lives all the way in the outback," he told her.

"So that's where the accent comes from," she thought aloud, a smile curving her lips.

Finn laughed and coiled his arm underneath his neck, using it as a headrest. "I grew up there, only moved here when I was sixteen."

Rory turned around and pulled her legs up onto the couch, careful because she was wearing a dress. She placed her elbow on the back of the couch and leaned her face into her palm. "Really, why?" she asked, genuinely interested.

Finn adopted a thoughtful expression with that question. "Well, for a lot of reasons," he told her vaguely. "I mean my father and I don't get along that well," he explained, motioning with his hand like he was talking with it instead.

Rory gave him a small, caring smile. "You and I have that same problem," she told him, hoping it might make him feel better.

It did seem to help as Finn's smile graced his face again. He cocked his head to the side and nodded for a second. "Is that why you're here?" he asked cautiously.

Rory bit her bottom lip out of habit and combed a hand through her damp hair. "Kind of," she told him, not wanting to get into that subject. "But it was more between me and my mom." Rory didn't understand how she was telling him all this. He was a complete stranger really, or maybe that was why. He was a stranger, he didn't know who she was or what'd she'd done in the past. It was almost like making a clean slate, at least for one night.

"My mum isn't that bad, always taught me to be a respectable man of society and eat my veggies," he told her, smiling fondly at the memories of her.

Rory laughed at that review of his mother. She'd thought Finn was a little quirky up until now and she realized that if that was really what his mother was like that was probably where he got it from. "And your dad?"

Finn's eyes hardened almost instantly and he looked like a different man all of a sudden. Someone with a lot of suppressed anger boiling underneath the surface a calm exterior. "Not much to say really," he told her, although the bristling tone of his voice said differently.

Rory quickly stepped out of that conversation, wanting things to stay light and easy between them. She thought about something she could bring up, something that would make him laugh or smile. "You know this one time," she started, pausing to gather his attention. "My mom was having this important luncheon at our house and she'd sent me upstairs, so that I wouldn't get into trouble. Now we lived in this kind of big house, but my room had a turret in it. And when she sent me there I made up this huge fairytale story."

Finn had literally forgotten about his earlier mood and was listening with rapt attention to Rory talk. There was just something about the way her eyes shone brightly with excitement, and the way her voice changed as she went on. He chuckled at the last part she said and couldn't stop himself from weighing in. "And how old were you love?"

Rory glared at him mockingly. "I was seven," she responded, holding his gaze and just daring him to say something else but he kept silent. "Anyway," she stressed the word, making him smile. "I was locked up there, by this evil queen and the only way I could be set free was if a prince in white climbed up to my window. I always thought life was suppose to be this giant fairytale and that everything would work out in the end, and the prince and I would ride off on his horse and live happily ever after," she finished somewhat dreamily.

Finn watched her closely, smiling at the shockingly innocent look on her face and he suddenly had the overwhelming urge to protect her, to be her prince. Those thoughts scared him more then you would think. All his life he'd been a player, going from one girl to the next. Never committing and never bringing feelings into the mix. But this girl, this strange girl he'd brought home tonight was changing everything, he could feel it. She was making him feel things, feel the need to have only one girl by his side and her have only him.

"Are you okay?" Rory asked breaking out of her daze and noticing his lost in thought look.

Finn shook his head but he couldn't clear his mind. "Yeah…" he muttered standing up from the couch and sticking his hand out for her empty cup, which she gave to him. He walked to the kitchen and placed them in the sink. "Listen I'm sure you're really tired, pet," he said, leaning forwards into the counter and breathing in sharply. "You can sleep in my room tonight; I'll crash on the couch."

Rory stood up, suddenly feeling very out of place. He'd changed the atmosphere in the room so abruptly and Rory no longer felt that comfortable around him as she had done just seconds before. She pondered if she had said anything, done something. Maybe her story had offended? Brought back memories he'd rather not visit? "Okay," she said quietly and shuffled over closer to the kitchen area. "Umm, which one is it?" she asked. Normally she would have refused his offer but she thought it would be wise not to get him mad or madder.

Finn turned around, wincing at the awkwardness she was displaying. He hadn't wanted to make things uncomfortable between them but he needed to just be able to think for a moment. "The one on the left," he told her, gesturing at the closed door. "I have roommates two love, you might wanna lock it."

Rory nodded and moved to the door. She grasped the doorknob but paused with the door halfway open. "Finn?"

"Yeah?" he asked, not understanding the way his heart jumped at the sound of his name passing through her lips so softly.

Rory smiled at him and lowered her head, looking up at him through hooded eyes. "Thank you," she said warmly and Finn almost had trouble breathing.

He nodded and walked a little closer to her, stuffing his hands in his pocket. "Night kitten," he said his voice velvety and smooth.

Finn watched her back into the room and with one final glance closed the door behind her. He stared at the door for a moment before walking over to the couch and falling back down onto it. "Girls' gonna be the death of me," he whispered to the silent dorm room before closing his eyes and welcoming the relief of sleep.

* * *

_You take me in  
No questions asked  
You strip away the ugliness  
That surrounds me  
Are you an angel?  
Am I already that gone?  
I only hope  
That I won't disappoint you  
When I'm here  
On my knees  
And sweet  
Sweet,  
Sweet surrender  
Is all that I have to give._

* * *

_Okay so this is a re-post of this chapter. For anyone who read it one my other account, I changed it a little and the rest of the chapters might be changed a bit two. Anyway, I really want feedback on this story so please read and review!_

_-Ella_


	2. What Lies Beyond

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or Sarah McLachlan.

_**Okay so if you've read this chapter already from the first time I posted it, I'll tell you that it's a rewrite. Basically I reread the story and changed a couple things so you don't really have to read this chapter again but you might want to. The first chapter was also rewritten in some parts, and I added some background into Finn so you might want to read that one again. **_

_**Full Of Grace**  
Chapter Two: What Lies Beyond_

_---  
All of my life I've had a longing for knowledge,  
And all which lets my thoughts be free.  
Duties for which I'm destined seem to haunt me,   
Confusing all I really want to be.  
---_

It hadn't taken long at all for Rory to fall asleep the night before. The exhaustion dwelling inside her body had been hiding from her, but she didn't even remember closing her eyes.

When Rory had woken up, it had been to a reality she hadn't visited in a long time. She'd let her eyes stay closed, absorbing everything around her. Many people took for granted what it was like to sleep in a warm bed in a place you can call home. Rory couldn't even remember what it felt like; it's been so long since she'd been able to do that. She hadn't been homeless or sleeping on the streets or anything but her one bedroom apartment she'd shared with two other girls was anything but glamorous.

And so she just lay in Finns bed, his silk sheets draped over her body. She breathed in deeply her mind becoming overrun with his scent, it was everywhere. She knew it was rude but she knew she wouldn't have been able to sleep in her dress and so she'd grabbed a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt from his drawer. His scent was permeated into them, into the sheets, even in the air. It was something so unique she couldn't even describe it but she loved it.

Rory finally decided to open her eyes and wake herself up. She slowly sat up, resting back against her elbows and looking over the room again. Her eyes seemed to be drawn straight to window seat at the side of his room. A smile graced her features and Rory pushed the blankets to the side, immediately missing their silky coolness against her body. She padded over to the window silently and sat down on the ledge bringing her knees up to her chest. Rory had never been the girl who was sitting on the sidelines and watching life…but that didn't mean she didn't want to be. It seemed her life was planned out for her and no mater what she did it would always be that way.

Rory smiled when she saw a young girl, clutching a couple of books to her chest walk by underneath the window. Rory had always wanted to be like that, someone smart and important, someone with a definite future. She'd dreamed about being a writer, whether it was a columnist, a novelist or even a poet. She'd experienced so much in her young life, seen so much and she wanted to share it with people. But she knew she couldn't do it by talking, no one listened to her…not her friends, not her dad and definitively not her mom. They all had an opinion about her and nothing Rory did would change that, it was something she'd learned at an early age.

Growing up in Los Angeles had been an experience in itself for Rory. The first thing she could remember from her childhood was the beach, a beautiful paradise at her fingertips. With white sand, blue waters and a bright sun overhead. She could remember her dad taking her there everyday, watching her splash around and play in the sand. He'd taught her how to build a simple sand castle one day and Rory had never forgotten the steps. She'd built one everyday after that, a small story forming in her mind. A story where she was a princess and her dad was a king. She'd lived in a world of fairytales, going to sleep at night with the thought that every princess found a prince and they would live happily ever after.

But her fairytale kingdom had quickly come crashing down.

First it was her dad's sudden long hours at work, his out of town business trips and his distant behaviour. Rory had been in her preteens when she'd first become aware of what was happening. Her parents had never been together, never lived together or been married. Rory had been spilt between them, living with her dad but staying with her mom on the weekends. They'd gotten along as well as can be expected but Rory always thought it was mostly for her sake. Soon enough though,even her sake didn't matter. They would constantly fight whenever they were around each other and her dad had tried to tell her how irresponsible her mom was and how he didn't want her going over there anymore.

It had been all to confusing for Rory. Their fights, the both of them trying to make her chose and mostly the weird behaviour they were both displaying. Rory had first come to her dad about it, asking him dead on why he was never around so much anymore and why when he was he never seemed to really be there? She could remember very clearly the guilt apparent in both his eyes and his voice. That was when he'd first gone into detail about Lorelai Gilmore.

Rory had always known about her step-sister, from the minute she could walk and talk. They'd met more times then she could count, quickly becoming friends when they were younger as they didn't really understand the sister thing. But Rory had never heard that much about her dad's history with Lorelai. It seems, he and Lorelai were a couple during high school and Lorelai had gotten pregnant. When Christopher, Rory's dad, had figured out that she was carrying his child he'd freaked out. Rory understood that though, they were only in grade 10. But then Chris did something Rory had never understood, he slept with another girl…one he didn't know, not even at all.

When Chris finally grasped the concept of Lorelai being pregnant he'd wanted to help her, be with her and raise their baby together. But the other girl had come to him, telling him she was pregnant to, and now Chris had two babies coming into this world.

Rory didn't think Lorelai had even forgiven her dad for cheating on her. She didn't think her dad had ever lived a day where he didn't feel guilty about doing so. Her dad told her that Lorelai had moved away from her parents' house to a small town named Stars Hollow with Brooke. Rory knew her dad had still loved Lorelai, even when he moved out to California with her and her mom.

"Bamm!"

Before Rory could even realize what had just hit the window she'd been sitting by, she'd found herself tumbling off the ledge and onto the ground below. Groaning, Rory raised a hand and rubbed at her head, both sore from her fall and from the torrent of thoughts going through it.

She slowly stood up and turned back to the window, trying to see what had hit it. There was a group of people down on the grass tossing a football around and so Rory assumed it had been the odd shaped ball and turned back around. She quickly became aware of how hungry she was as her stomach began to grumble loudly. Rory thought about it and discovered with another rumble in her belly that she hadn't eaten a full meal in almost two days.

She cast a glance down at the clothes she was wearing and silently eased the door open and peeked her head through. From what she could see, the place was empty and so with a deep breath she opened the door fully and stepped out. She'd been expecting to hear Finn or the roommates he said he had but she didn't hear anything. She curled her arms around her stomach, fingering the material of the t-shirt as she walked out further; looking into the kitchen but it was empty to.

"I guess he's not here," she whispered to herself, walking out of the kitchen. She couldn't decided if she was happy he didn't seem to be around or not.

Rory didn't want to stand around in plain view is someone happened to walk in and so she walked back into Finn's room. She looked around, hoping to spot a clock or something so she could find out what time it was. After a minute of searching she found one turned over on the ground and it read _10:28_. Rory stood back up, balancing on the balls of her feet, just looking around the room. She'd never really been the kind of person who was able to just sit around and do nothing. She always had to be active, although not physically. And so she walked out of the room again and was about to just look around when an open door caught her attention. It was the last door in a row of four and Rory only knew it was open because she could see light filtering out of it. Slowly she shuffled towards it and found that it was the bathroom. She sighed in relief that no one was in it and quickly walked back to Finn's room to grab her dress before locking the bathroom door behind her.

Rory moved over and turned on the shower head, adjusting the temperature until it was just right. If Rory was thinking with her rational brain she would know that helping herself to a shower in a strange guy's dorm wasn't the right thing to do. But Rory wasn't thinking like that, she was thinking that when she looked into the mirror all she saw was dirty skin and greasy hair. And so she slipped out of Finn's t-shirt and pushed down the baggy pants before jumping into the shower. She turned her back to the nozzle and let the hot water beat down onto her aching muscles. The sleep last night had helped her a lot but this was more soothing then she ever would have imagined.

Rory didn't let herself stay in the shower for a long time, scared that Finn would come home or even worse one of his roommates. When she got out she quickly dried off and put on her dress. She grabbed a brush off the counter and ran it through her tangled locks, sighing at her reflection in the mirror. She knew there wasn't much physical difference but she could feel it. She felt cleaner, healthier and happier, a whole lot better then she'd been feeling the past week.

Rory let her tongue run across her teeth, knowing she must have awful breath because she hadn't brushed in the longest time. She found it way to icky to use his toothbrush and so she looked around hoping to find something else. She did, in the form of mouthwash and Rory promptly rinsed her mouth out, smiling at the tingling sensation.

Rory opened the bathroom door and padded across the room back to Finn's and dropped his clothes on his bed. She nervously brought a hand to her hair and started to idly twirl it around her finger as she listened to the silence filling up the dorm. She walked out of his room and stood in the middle of the common room. Her eyes wandered over everything but seemed to gravitate towards the door. She almost felt like it was mocking her. She marched towards it and rested her palm flat against the surface. The door was solid wood, hard beneath her hand. She knew how foolish it was to think something like this but the only though passing through her mind was that she was scared of it…scared of a closed door, because it was the obstacle separating her from the world.

Rory knew she would have to leave, she couldn't mooch of this nice guy forever and there was the reason she'd hopped a bus to Hartford, Connecticut. But Rory found herself rather unwilling to leave. This place seemed safe in her mind and she knew she didn't want to leave without thanking Finn very much for his generosity and without knowing if she would see him again. But her stomach was still rumbling for food and she didn't want to take any of Finn's and so she thought she might just go out and see if she could get some.

She let her hand slide down the door until it reached the handle and she curved her fingers around it. She was taken aback when the knob started to turn in her hand and she backed away from it. Her heart was beating erratically and her blood pounding in her ears as she watched with wide eyes as it swung open. When she didn't see Finn on the other side she jumped in surprise, letting out an involuntary yelp and shuffled backwards a bit more.

Collin, who was still in the hall outside, furrowed his brows at the girl standing, almost panicked, in his common room. He didn't think much of it; he was used to having random girls here all the time. He walked in and swung the door closed behind him, the sound making her jump again.

"Hi," he stated and started walking towards her but she receded even farther.

Rory's brain screamed at her that this was obviously one of Finn's roommates but she couldn't seem to make the fear leave her body. The same reaction came with every strange guy who came up to her abruptly. It happened with Finn the night before and it was happening again. She locked her eyes with his and watched as he skimmed them over her figure. Rory cringed at the smile making its way on his lips and quickly walked around him, keeping her distance.

"I'm just…gonna go," Rory mumbled and shot her hand out to grab the knob again, this time she got the door open herself. Keeping her gaze still on the guy behind her she started to walk out the door but collided with a very hard wall. Rory slowly brought her gaze up and found that it wasn't a wall at all, just a smiling Finn.

Finn was confused when he saw Rory appear in his door and he quickened his pace hoping she wasn't leaving. He was surprised when she turned around and walked straight into him. His arms instinctively went to her hips, trying to steady her and at the same time keep her deliciously warm body against his.

"Morning kitten," he said gently walking her backwards into the room. It was then that he noticed Collin standing in the common room, one eyebrow raised in question. Finn was about to say something when he felt Rory turn around, his hands slipping off her hips. He looked down at her, and followed her gaze to Collin. Finn placed his hand on the small of her back and felt how tense she was.

"This is Collin, love. One of my roommates," he introduced her, trying to get her to relax.

"Excellent dress," Collin said, running his eyes down her once again.

Finn didn't know what came over him. He'd heard Collin and even Logan hit on his dates many times. Not that Rory was even his date…but this time his hand slid from her back, gripped her waist and tugged her towards him. "Don't be an ass Collin," Finn told him trying to keep his tone normal.

Collin laughed at the Australian's reaction but he held his hand up in surrender and turned around walking towards his room. "I'm gonna get some sleep…kinda missed out on it last night," he told them over his shoulder before disappearing into another room and closing the door behind him.

Finn felt Rory loosen up a bit when the door closed but he kept looking at her a bit concerned. He watched her tilt her head down and realized he was still holding onto her and he immediately let go, bringing a hand up and combing it through his hair.

"Hi," Rory smiled at him as she moved a tiny bit so that she couldn't feel the heat from his body.

Finn nodded down at her and noticed that her eyes were darting nervously towards Collin's room every couple of seconds and he thought Collin must have given her quite a scare. "He's harmless pet," he told her jokingly, walking towards the kitchen.

That got a smile out of Rory and she walked behind him, stopping at the counter and sliding up onto one of the stools. She watched him move around the kitchen, opening cupboards and muttering curses under his breath. She tilted her head to the side and laughed when he let glared at her playfully.

"So where did you go?" she asked, hoping to sound casual and not stalker-ish or anything.

Finn furrowed his brows and came closer, leaning his elbows on the counter. He studied her for a second, happy when a pink blush came onto her cheeks. "You thinking about me pet?" he asked.

Rory instantly shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, playing off that idea. But after Finn didn't stop looking at her she relented easily. "Okay, jeeze stop with the third degree! Yes, I was thinking about you."

Finn laughed but it died in his throat when he thought about what that meant. _She had been thinking about me?_ He asked himself. He didn't know if he liked the sensation that she was thinking about him and possibly worried. He'd never had a girl be worried about him when he disappeared in the mornings.

After clearing his head of those thoughts he turned around and opened another cupboard, reaching in and pulling out a clear plastic bag. "You must be starving?" he asked.

Rory nodded empathetically. "You never came up with the promises food last night," she told him matter of factly.

Finn smiled apologetically at her. "I guess that cost me my vote, right?"

It took only a moment for Rory to catch onto what he was saying but when she did a wide smile played itself across her lips. "You bet mister," she exclaimed. She suddenly realized how calm she was around him, unlike with Collin earlier. And that made her think back to when she'd reflected on the fact that she felt safe here. Now she wondered if it was just Finn who made her feel safe…

"You know it's not poison love," Finn said, after watching her stare at the bag of buns he'd put in front of her.

Rory shook her head and blushed when she saw that he was watching her again. She reached out tentatively snatched one, bringing it up to her mouth to nibble on. "Thanks," she said.

"No problem," he answered. Finn leaned back against the opposite counter, watching her pick at the bun. He let his eyes roam over her and he smiled at how much better she look this morning…not that she hadn't been beautiful last night but today she looked rested. Her blue eyes were sparkling more and weren't blood shot and rimmed with black circles, her forehead wasn't furrowing with wrinkles and her body seemed a lot more relaxed. He didn't miss the fact that her hair was wet, plastered against her head. He knew she'd taken a shower here and liked that she was comfortable enough to have done that. What he knew he didn't need right now were the mental images of her stripping down and getting into his shower…

"Hey Finn?"

Finn almost fell over as her voice broke him out of his trance. He brought a hand up and ran it threw his hair and over his glazed eyes. "Yeah?"

"Listen I just want to thank you, I mean you didn't even know me and you let me stay here," she started, all the thoughts in her head pushing to the front and trying to get out. There were so many things she wanted to thank him for, so many questions she wanted to ask. "And I feel really bad about this but, I was wondering if I could ask you for one more thing?"

Finn smiled as she rushed the last part out, averting her eyes from his. He didn't mind at all, he knew he would do anything to make her happy. "What do need?"

Rory looked down and thought about what to tell him. "I came here…to find someone," she said. "I know they go here and they live in…that building you said…"

"Branford?" Finn supplied, trying to help her out as she seemed to be having a lot of difficulty getting this out.

Rory smiled. "Branford, I know she lives there but I don't know where exactly." Rory picked nervously at the counter top with her fingers, her nerves on asking him for help starting to build up. "Or you know if you don't want to…"

Finn couldn't help but smile over her nervousness but he was more worried then she seemed about having her end up on the streets. "Hey, love, I'll help. Whatever you need," he promised, feeling a little sad that she was going to be leaving. Last night he'd been up for hours, trying to convince himself that she wasn't really that important and that she would be gone soon and he would just go one with his life. But he'd known it wouldn't be that easy. Only because of the fluttering of his heart whenever she smiled at him, the tightening in his stomach when she spoke his name and the overwhelming need to protect her from the world.

Rory knew she'd already asked for so much from him but the sincerity in his voice when he told he'd help her… "I kind of didn't pack anything when I left so…"

Finn raised an eyebrow when she said that and he walked over with a pot of coffee he'd grabbed from behind him. "Not so smart on your part, love," he told her and she smiled nervously. "Not a problem though, we'll get you some new clothes."

"Thanks," Rory said genuinely. She watched his eyes as they moved from her face and swept over her body. Her skin felt flushed from his burning gaze and she moved timidly.

"Why don't we make a wager pet?" Finn asked, shaking his head from picturing her dressed up in a couple of different outfits.

Rory had heard those words to many times in her life to know that they never sounded good. Even with Finn being so nice to her and her feeling safe with him she was instantly all tensed up by those words.

Finn watched her reaction to those words and rushed to reassure her. "Don't worry pet, I promised you last night; no hidden agenda." He walked over to her completely and sat down in the stool beside her. "I'll take you out shopping today, buy you a couple things. Then we can hunt down this bird you came to see."

"And I don't have to do anything for you?" Rory asked, not so easily won over. She liked Finn, a lot, trusted him even but she'd been taught early on that guys always want something and she just couldn't decide whether Finn was just another guy or if he was different.

Finn sighed as he could see the panic still dwelling in her eyes. He knew it would be more then simple to treat her like every other girl who came home with him at night. But the thought of doing that to her made him feel sick. He wanted to know who she was, wanted to understand her. He knew he definitely wanted to be with her too but only if she was a willing participant.

"Pet, I'm begging you to trust me okay?" he asked her softly. "I'll buy you some new clothes, not too much and I'll even let you pay me back if you want," he said, liking that plan because after she left he'd get to see her again.

Rory smiled, finally letting herself believe that she'd met one of the few good guys in the world. "Okay, I can do that."

Finn smiled and then let his eyes travel over to the coffee mug sitting in front of her. Long gone was the steam rising off of it and he chuckled. "Bet that's gone cold by now."

Rory was confused at first but when she saw the coffee mug she laughed to. She reached over and dipped her finger into the brew and true enough it was cold to the touch. "Sorry," she said, placing it in his outstretched hand.

"Nothing to be sorry about, pet," he said and placed it in the microwave. "After this is done, how about I take you on a little field trip down to the mall?" he asked, tearing his eyes away from the spinning cup to see her whole face light up.

Rory remembered how she'd felt this morning when she woke up, a whole lot better then the past few years put together. But right now she felt like for once in her life, the universe was working for her. This man standing in front of her…well she didn't think he had any idea how much he was helping her. Not just by giving her a place to stay for the night, or feeding her or buying her clothes, but by not questioning her and not expecting things from her. She realized the reason behind why she was letting Finn help her. She was looking for a way out; she was looking for some form of release from her life back in Los Angeles. She wanted to be rid of that life, that constant worry and danger. And she wanted Finn to help, she wanted him to turn her in the right direction so that her feet would find their way back to the path that led to a normal life…something she'd always craved but never had.

---

Rory and Finn walked through the crowed mall underneath the giant Christmas banners and wreaths that were still out. Rory let her eyes pass from person to person and she felt herself grow even happier then she'd been before.

She was so happy about her decision now. At first she'd been really uneasy about it but now she knew it had been the right thing. Because walking through the mall, with all the other strangers made her feel like one of them. Not like in L.A. where she felt secluded in a crowd of people. Right now she felt like a normal girl, just out shopping. But with one glance at the man walking next to her Rory had to correct herself. With him at her side she felt special, in a really good way.

Rory looked away from Finn for only a second but her eyes instantly caught sight of a brilliant picture. A giant Christmas tree, standing tall and proud with a huge star on top of it and millions of lights and decorations. The sight of it made her happy but at the same time sad. It made memories flood into her, memories about Christmas in her one bedroom apartment.

Just last month the three of them who lived there had decorated it for Christmas, with almost no money. She could remember how much she'd wanted to have one of those beautiful wreaths to hang on the door, but they'd all been way to expensive and so they'd bought a really cheap one. It was small and she'd almost cried when she hung it on their door.

Lot's of Christmas' from her childhood came back to her now to. Christmas had never been her favourite holiday, but it was always special because her dad would give her this one amazing present and then more smaller ones. It hit her hard when she realized how long it had been since she'd been able to celebrate Christmas with gifts and family and all the fixings…four years.

"I miss it," she breathed out, staring at the tree with wonder in her eyes.

Even though Rory had spoken so softly, Finn had caught her confession. He wasn't sure what she meant but he knew whatever it was it was making her sad and he never wanted to see her like that. He placed the palm of his hand up against the small of her back and she turned to face him.

"Christmas," Rory clarified with a faraway look in her eyes and a small smile gracing her face.

"It was just last month," Finn reminded her, hoping to insert come comedy into what he could tell was a heavy subject.

Rory let her smile drift away and she wrung her hands together. "Not for me…" she mumbled hoping that he wouldn't hear her.

Finn did though, once again. He felt like he was gaining some sort of insight into what had happened to this girl. Millions of different scenarios ran through his mind, all of them reasons why she hadn't been able to celebrate Christmas. He mulled over her words, looking at her slowly shrinking form and decided not to ask her what she meant. If she wanted him to know she would tell him, and he hoped she did.

"Alright then love, where are we going next?" he asked and smiled when the sparkles came back into her eyes.

"That store!" she exclaimed eagerly and pulled him into it, never once letting go of his hand.

---

When Rory and Finn returned to Finn's dorm room, both were laden with bags of all sizes and collapsed straight onto the couch. Their feet ached from an entire day of walking around, or really Finn following Rory around the mall as she ran to different stores. Finn propped his feet up on the coffee table and looked over at Rory who was busy rooting through a bag. Her cheeks were rosy, her smile wide and her eyes twinkling. He didn't think he'd ever seen someone more beautiful then her, and he didn't think he'd ever had fun while watching a girl shop for clothes with his money. But somehow just being in Rory's presence had made it different. He'd gotten to know a lot about her, from what kind of clothes she liked, what music she listened to, how the old black and white, romantic movies were her absolute favourite. He loved watching her run from rack to rack in the clothing stores, her eyes wide with excitement. She was like a kid in a candy store, who'd been deprived of candy for years.

Rory sensed he was watching her. She'd always been able to just know when she had someone's complete attention. It was something she'd always thanked the heavens for and right now was no different. She liked the feeling inside of her that came with the knowledge that Finn was staring at her. She liked that he found her so interesting, because when she thought about she hadn't been interesting to anyone in a while.

Rory let him stare at her, her thoughts taking over her mind quite like earlier that morning. She'd had so much fun today at the mall, having money to spend on clothes she really loved. It had the best day of her life she thought, and it was all because of Finn. He'd made her feel like a girl today and she knew he had no clue how important that was to her. She'd never been able to act like just a girl. She'd gone from being a kid to being on her own. She hated that she'd never got to really experience her teenage years; the one that wee supposed to be the best years of her life.

From when she was 15 to her 17th birthday her life had been utter chaos, one thing after another falling apart. First it was her dad leaving California, running back to Lorelai to ask her to take him back. Then it was moving in with her mom, something that at the time she hadn't thought was that bad. Turned out, Reese Whitman was not her fairytale kingdom's queen. A queen was supposed to be beautiful, and loving and compassionate.

Rory could remember that first month like it had just happened. It was when she first saw her mom for who she really was. A lying, scheming, bitter woman who didn't love anything other then money and power and the status those two things could bring her. She'd spent the whole time locked away in her room or out of the house. She'd hated being out with her mom because of how she was when they were in public; pretending to care about her and act like they were some big loving family. Rory had figured out that it was all an act, everything Rory had ever thought about her mom had been fake. Reese didn't love her, she resented her in fact.

And when Christopher started to travel a lot more and work longer hours, Rory had been forced to move in with her mom, permanently. At first it hadn't been that bad, but when Reese started bringing home her various boyfriends and started drinking more and more, Rory had had enough. When she turned seventeen she'd been out of that house so fast, even the prospect of living on the street had seemed better then living with her mom. Reese had been so ignorant of Rory when'd she'd been living there, that she was sure she never even noticed her move out.

Finn watched Rory for a while waiting for her to break out her thoughts. When she didn't he lowered his head and leaned forward a bit trying to meet her eyes. What he saw in them hurt him more then he would have thought. Rory's bright blue eyes had turned a slightly duller shade, that vivacious twinkle to them gone and many emotions swimming in them, everything from guilt and sadness to a sense of accomplishment and attachment.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, reaching his hand out and placing in on her knee.

Rory let her eyes travel over to his hand; she smiled at the sight of it lying on her faintly tanned skin. "I want to see my sister."

Finn was surprised to hear that but quickly recovered. "Okay then, what's her name?" he asked. He watched her for a second when something he hadn't really noticed before caught his attention, standing out to him like the giant purple elephant in the room. Her eyes, her beautiful deep blue eyes, they reminded him of someone, but…no, she couldn't be Rory's sister, it didn't make sense.

"Brooke Gilmore," Rory told him, watching his reaction.

And apparently it was suppose to make sense. "Brooke? She's your sister?"

Rory smiled and nodded. "Yeah, do you know her?" she asked, hope shining in her eyes.

"I do…" Finn trailed off, trying to keep up with his thoughts. He remembered Brooke saying something about a sister, but he could have sworn she'd been a lot younger…like less than five years old. "She's a good friend…actually; she's dating one of my best friends and roommates, Logan Huntzberger."

Rory just stared at him for a moment, fish mouth and everything. "So I guess you know where I might find her then?" she asked. She couldn't believe that the guy she'd met and who'd been more then nice to her was really good friends with her sister! She wondered what else she might find out if she scratched the surface of Finn a little more.

---  
_And I see you again and I know it's true,  
The dreams that have left me cold and once again  
Together we'll find the strength to make love real.  
Because I wanted to do what I know is true,  
My thoughts leave me on a lonely sea somewhere-  
The waves of what lies beyond us now.  
---_

_Please guy's read and review for these chapters. Don't worry the third chapter is already written I'm just fixing it up so it'll be out soon. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I love you guys and you all get a cookie!  
_

_-Ella_

_Hints about the next chapter: I'll introduce Brooke first off. Rory and Brooke will meet and the subject of Rory's past will come up. I'm not sure about Rory and Finn stuff; I think that may happen a little later on. _


	3. The Path Of Thorns

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or Sarah McLachlan.

_**Full Of Grace**  
Chapter Three: The Path Of Thorns_

---  
_I knew you wanted to tell me  
In your voice there was something wrong  
But if you would turn your face away from me  
You cannot tell me you're so strong  
Just let me ask of you one small thing  
As we have shared so many tears  
With fervour our dreams we planned a whole life long  
Now are scattered on the wind...  
---_

Sitting alone in a brightly lit room, a young woman was curled up in a chair. Her brown hair hid her face as she read the heavy book in her lap. It would seem strange to anyone who didn't know the girl, why she was inside reading on such a beautiful day. What they might wander would be, what would a women as young as she find interesting in this book, 'A Mencken Chrestomathy'? No, those who didn't know her would find it odd. However, those who did know Brook-Lynn Gilmore wouldn't blink an eye.

In actuality, however, the young women who seemed to be so engrossed with the book in her lap, hadn't read a single word. She was mindlessly leafing through the pages. Waiting…

When the sharp knock sounded at the door, the girl knew her waiting was over. She rose from her chair, padding over to the door silently, her white robe flowing behind her. When she opened the door, the look on the face of the man she saw made her grin. "What happened?" she asked, trying to hold back her laughter.

"I ran into Paris," the man stated, walking past Brooke and into her common room. He placed a crisp white bag on her coffee table and sank down onto the couch. "And Doyle," he finished, rubbing at his eyes like he was trying to forget what he'd seen.

Brooke walked over and plopped down next to him. "Oh, and what about them?" she asked, innocently, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger, a little trick she'd learned from her mom.

The man turned to look at her, his disdain evident on his face. "He was wearing my clothes!" he told her, his voice raising a few octaves.

Brooke smiled, curbing her urge to break out into laughter. "Oh so that's why they looked so familiar," she pondered out loud.

"No wonder Ace," the man muttered, leaning his head back to rest it on the top of the couch.

Brooke finally couldn't stop it anymore and she burst out into giggles, holding onto her stomach. Her actions caused the man to raise his head and look at her with a pointed look, one brow raised. "I'm sorry," Brooke garbled, her voice slightly muffled from her laughs. "I promise I'll never let Doyle wear your clothes again," she said, jutting out her bottom lip in the way she knew he hated.

"You better not Ace, or I'll never buy you coffee again," he threatened, letting his palm rest on her thigh and rubbing it slowly, moving the hem of her robe up and down.

"Blasphemy!" Brooke cried, looking horrified at even the thought of no more coffee in the mornings and in-between classes.

He gave her a look that spoke volumes. "And you don't think letting Doyle wear my clothes isn't?" he asked.

She smiled at him innocently and pushed herself off the couch, leaning down to grab the bag. "I didn't think you'd mind," she told him sweetly, while taking out the cookie she'd asked for a biting into it.

"Oh, you didn't think I'd mind?" he repeated standing up also.

"Nope," Brooke said simply and was about to skip off into her room to get dressed when she felt a hand encase her wrist and stop her movements. She looked down at his hand and then up at his face. He was looking at with a mixture between a mischievous twinkle in his hazel eyes and a determined one. She knew both meant trouble.

"Are you sure?" he asked, him voice low and husky, making her breath catch in her throat. Brooke only nodded, not trusting her voice at the moment. "Really?" he kept questioning her, slowly walking towards her but she kept backing up…or at least until her back hit the wall. "Cause I know the perfect way you could make it up to me," he breathed, letting go of her wrist but wrapping his arm around her waist instead and letting his other hand rest against the wall by her head, trapping her between him and the wall.

"What would that be?" Brooke asked her voice small. She hated how much she loved how he could send her into a tailspin with just his mere presence close to her. His body pressing against hers and his voice breathing against her ear and suddenly she was putty in his hands.

"This," he said and bent down curving an arm under her knees and the other around her back.

Brooke yelped as she was suddenly lifted into his arms. "Logan!" she yelled. "Put me down!" But her actions belied her words as her body snuggled itself closer to his and her arms wound around his neck. She giggled as he carried her into her room, her smile stretching far.

---

Rory stood nervously outside Brooke's dorm. She'd already knocked and was now waiting for her to answer it. As she shifted from foot to foot outside in the vestibule she realized that she probably should have given herself a few days to sort out her mixed-up feelings before coming to see her. She couldn't even decide how she felt.

Her thoughts were dashed when the door flew open and a guy was standing in front of her. Instinct didn't seem to be presenting herself with anything to say to him and so she just stared. She didn't know what had happened but she'd suddenly lost her ability to form words or maybe just lost her nerve. She didn't know how to react to his sudden appearance, she hadn't thought about someone other then Brooke answering the door.

From the guys body language she could tell he was confused and probably more then annoyed. But Rory's attention soon broke away from him as Brooke walked out of one of the rooms inside the dorm. She was pulling on a sweater over top of her t-shirt and was not aware of Rory just being metres away. If she had seen her then Rory knew things would have been different. Brooke would've been by her side in an instant.

Wouldn't she?

Her heart was beating wildly in her chest as she watched her and she thought it was going to jump up her throat. Rory wanted to go over to her but she couldn't move. She wanted nothing more then to say something, to talk to Brooke but she was frozen to the spot, paralysed by a not so sudden fear that she wouldn't be the same –that she wouldn't look at Rory like she used to.

Inhaling deeply, she tried to steady herself as she stood in the doorway, powerless against the nagging fears that she knew would turn out to be untrue. Brooke was her sister, her best friend and she loved her. Even though their last meeting had been anything but pleasant they were still sisters. But she was still terrified, her palms sweating and her body starting to tremble with nerves.

She felt a familiar feeling loom up inside her.

Part of her wanted to run away.

She was on the verge of panic, could feel it pushing down on her, trying hard to break her. She suddenly wanted to escape, she couldn't breathe as she watched her, her heart clenched and different, contradicting feelings spread through her like a tornado. She couldn't do this, couldn't deal with the possibility that Brooke wouldn't help her, that she would turn her back on her again, when Rory needed help more then anything.

Swallowing hard Rory was about to turn around and make a mad dash out of there when she saw Brooke raise her head. Brooke's whole body tensed, her shoulders becoming rigid as she walked forward a couple of steps.

There was only one direction Rory could run in now. And in one second flat she ran to Brooke. Flinging her arms around Brooke's neck, she squeezed her hard and felt relief course through her system when Brooke curved her arms around her back. Rory's whole body warmed, as tears threatened to fall from her lashes. She felt like she was flying and crashing down all at the same time.

"Rory?" Brooke mumbled into her shoulder and started to rub her back soothingly.

Rory pulled away form her embrace and her hands fluttered about herself, pulling at the hem of her shirt and at her hair, she suddenly felt bare under Brooke's steady gaze. She slowed her hands as she raised her eyes up to slowly meet hers and she relaxed further when she met the exact same electrifying blue ones she'd remembered. Except this time they were full of concern and an overwhelming amount of love.

"I'm sorry…" Rory said wringing her hands in front of her and furrowing her brows. "I'm sorry…I just," she paused again and this time back away a tiny bit. "I should have called or something," she mumbled lowly and was about to turn around but Brooke grabbed her hand, stopping her.

"You don't have to call," Brooke told her, her voice dripping with worry. She knew Rory inside and out and she knew she wasn't the kind of girl who ask's for help. But it looked to her now that that might be exactly what Rory was doing. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Logan, who had been leaning against the door, watching the seen unfold with nothing but confusion in his eyes, finally pushed himself up and started to walk over to Brooke. "Ahem," he said clearing his throat.

Brook looked surprised to see him there for a second before her eyes became clear. "Oh sorry!" she exclaimed. "Logan this is Rory, my sister," she told him, feeling a tad guilty for springing something like this one him so curtly but right now her main focus was on Rory, it had to be.

Logan was stunned, just staring at Brooke for a minute straight before he switched his gaze over to Rory. She quickly averted her eyes and backed away a bit, but Logan kept staring at her. He couldn't believe how much alike they looked; he couldn't believe he hadn't seen it at first. Their hair was the exact same coffee-colour, their skin porcelain white and their eyes a piercing blue.

"Sister?" he managed to get out, turning back to Brooke with a look that was shooting question after question straight at her.

Brooke blushed and looked away guilty for a second but then met his gaze straight on. "Logan, I'm sorry," she apologized and moved closer to him, grabbing his hand. "Listen I'll explain everything tomorrow, I promise. But I really need to talk to her right now," she said the last part glancing at Rory over her shoulder.

"Okay?" Logan asked rhetorically. He leaned down at kissed her quickly before walking over and picking up his jacket. He paused at the door and turned around. "It was nice to meet you," he said to Rory who smiled at him and then he turned and walked out the door.

The two girls stood together, both looking at each other, a silent conversation passing between them. They both remembered the last time they talked; they regretted how they'd lashed out at each other. But at the same time they couldn't apologize because Brooke still felt the same way and Rory hadn't changed. It was like this vicious circle between them, this rip tide they couldn't help but drown in before…but now they were going to fight it and would do it together.

"Are you okay?" Brooke asked, not knowing how to approach this.

Rory didn't answer her. How could she when truthfully, she didn't know herself? Some days she felt like she was walking down the straight and narrow path but others she would walk around completely lost. She did know one thing though and it was the reason she was here.

Fear.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Brooke asked, leading Rory over to the couch.

Rory sat down pulling up one foot and wrapping her arms around it and resting her chin on her knee. She took a deep breath and looked at Brooke. "Listen I don't want to get into detail…I just…" she stated, her voice cracking slightly as she continued. "I'm scaring myself."

Brooke instantly felt the urge to wrap Rory up in her arms, to protect her from the world even though she knew she didn't need protection. She needed someone to just listen to her and so Brooke held back and did just that, with only a little mild encouragement. "Rory you know I'm always here for you, no matter what," she said.

Rory smiled even through the tears that were starting to fall, unchecked down her cheeks. "That's why I came to you," she said, changing her position so she was sitting Indian style on the couch, facing Brooke completely. "I just want to be able to talk to someone and have them just listen…I knew you'd be the one who could do that," she said and Brooke nodded her along. "There's some really confusing and important things happening right now."

Brooke took that all in and suddenly her eyes widened and her heart started to pound. "You're not…"

"No!" Rory cut her off hurriedly. "I'm not pregnant and I don't have some kind of disease or anything," she told her, seeing Brooke visibly relax. Rory pushed at her hair, making it fall forward creating some sort of shield. "But I think I've finally realized how dangerous and lonely my life really is," she breathed out lowly, her tears falling faster and blurring her vision.

Brooke couldn't stop herself from reaching forward and laying her hand on Rory's knee, her action comforting. "Rory you have to get away from it. It's not enough just realizing it, you have to take charge and get yourself out of California. But you also need help, you can't do this alone," she told her, her voice gentle and loving.

Rory nodded and wiped at her tears. "I know. Again, that's why I came here. I'm really scaring myself Brooke…I'm scared about what I'm turning into, what my future is going to be like."

"Rory I know you inside and out. I know you're strong, you're a fighter and I know you can stop this," Brooke encouraged, hope coursing through her body Rory might finally be getting away from what she thought was the worst decision of her life.

"I want to," Rory declared. "I mean it just hit me one day, like a blow to the stomach. I don't want to be like this anymore." She cleared her throat, coughing a little and then continued. "I don't want to end up dead or alone," she said each word creating more tension in her body and more strain on her voice.

"You won't," Brooke told her, confident in that.

Rory still wasn't convinced thought as she looked at Brooke with a broken look. "Brooke…I don't…" she said. "What if I've waited to long?"

Brooke forced Rory to look up her when she lowered her head. Their eyes quickly met and Brooke looked at her with a 'no fuss' look. "You haven't," she said so determinedly that it made Rory really want to believe her.

Rory nodded her head, her mouth opening and closing for a bit before she let out a small sob. "Brooke I'm so scared," she cried.

"Hey, it's alright," Brooke whispered, taking Rory into her arms finally. She looked down at her sister who until now she'd always thought of as really strong. "It's gonna be okay," she promised and kissed her on the head, combing a hand through her hair.

---

Rory and Brooke had stayed, locked in an embrace on the couch for a long while. Both holding onto to each other and never wanting to let go. They hated being away from each other. But with Rory living in California and Brooke living in Connecticut it was really hard to see each other. Rory also never really got to see Lorelai a lot either.

You wouldn't think Lorelai and Rory would be that close, but they were. Even though Rory was what stopped Lorelai from getting back together with Chris, she never held ay sort of judgement or hatred towards Rory. It wasn't her fault at all.

Her and Lorelai had bonded really easily when they first met. Both were immature and childish and loved coffee. When they grew older and Rory started to realize how screwed up her parents really were, she and Lorelai bonded even more over that. Rory knew if she saw her more often, she would think of Lorelai as her mom. Both loved each other and were like a second family.

And so that was why Brooke had decided that Rory needed to come to Stars Hollow. The three of them could sit down and talk, which was what Rory really needed.

The drive to Stars Hollow was very uneventful, only because Rory was still sniffling in the passengers seat and Brooke was concentrating on driving and thinking up ways to get Rory away from California and the life she had there.

By the time they got to the crap shack Lorelai was waiting on the front porch. They'd called her before they left, making sure she'd be okay with them coming. To say Lorelai had been shocked when her daughter told her Rory was with her would be an understatement. She felt apprehensive about seeing Rory, after the big blowout the year before but she knew that if Brooke could do it then she could to.

"Hey Honey!" Lorelai called and walked over enveloping Brooke in a hug and taking her bag from her. Lorelai then turned around and saw Rory for the first time. Throughout the year that Lorelai hadn't seen Rory in, she'd grown up a lot. She could tell just by looking at her. But she seemed older then she was, like she'd had to grow up too fast, which Lorelai knew was true. But it was something in her eyes that made Lorelai drop the bag and hug Rory like a mother would her daughter. It was the pain in her eyes and the loneliness.

"How you doing?" she asked after they separated. Both knew the question wasn't as light as it sounded. It was the same question you ask someone after you haven't seen them in a while but Rory understood that it meant so much more in their situation.

"I'm fine. I mean, I'm not thinking puppy dogs and bunnies. And I'm pretty sure the hills aren't alive with the sound of music, but..." she trailed off a small smile on her lips.

Lorelai nodded, understanding what Rory meant and she bent down and picked up Brooke's bag and then locked her hands with each girl and walked towards the house. The three of them got installed on the couch, movies ready and an array of junk foods and candies out on the coffee table. Lorelai was just about to start the first movie when she suddenly turned to Rory and laid a hand on her knee. "There's a box of stuff you've left here over the years, it's up in the hall closet," she said, knowing that if she didn't get it out now she would forget all about it.

Rory nodded and they all started watching the movie. Although not for long because only a half an hour into to it they were all sitting on the floor in a triangle just talking and sharing stories about the past year.

Rory was thrilled to hear Lorelai and Luke finally getting together, even when she didn't live in Stars Hollow she knew they'd always loved each other. Brook and Lorelai were recounted with the many different adventures Rory had had in California and the rest of the time they talked about school, life in general and guys. But they all managed to skillfully avoid the subject of Rory's visit the year before and they all liked it that way, not wanting to dredge up painful memories.

---

Lorelai and Brooke had retired to the kitchen after the second movie was over. A minor still in the conversation had occurred and Lorelai hadn't let the opportunity to talk to Brooke alone pass her by and so she declared that they needed to make more coffee and had dragged her daughter into the kitchen with her.

They were now standing in the kitchen beside each other and Lorelai dived right into the conversation both knew couldn't be avoided. "You doing okay, Brooke?" she asked.

"Truth?" Brooke repeated and crinkled her nose. "I really don't know." She looked down, pulling at her shirt to busy her fingers as she tried to put her thoughts to words. "When Rory left, all I could think about was getting her to come back somehow. I just thought that if she could be around the people that loved her, everything would be okay."

"But?" Lorelai questioned, knowing Brooke had to get this off her chest.

Brooke let out a sigh and turned around, leaning her elbows on the counter and watched as Lorelai mimicked her position. They were both standing with their backs to the kitchen door and didn't see a figure appear there.

"Having Rory home, I-I thought it might make things easier for her but…I think it might make them worse."

Rory visibly shrunk at those words, it was like a physical blow and Rory took it hard. She turned around and ran up the stairs to the closet where Lorelai had said they'd put her stuff.

"I know that must sound bad…I love having Rory here, more then anything, but I can't have another fight with…I don't want to hurt her anymore…" Brooke said, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I don't want to push her away again…" she sobbed.

"Hey it's okay," Lorelai cooed and brought Brooke into her arms, combing her hair with her fingers. "It'll all work out."

Brooke stayed in her embrace for a minute, drawing strength from her mom, before she pulled back. She knew she must look like a mess and so she backed away and motioned over her shoulder. "I'm just gonna go wash up," she said quietly and started to walk to the bathroom.

"Oh Brooke!" Lorelai called, waiting until she had her daughters' attention. "That bathroom's going all wonky, you might wanna use the one upstairs," she told her, smiling reassuringly.

Brooke nodded and continued on to the stairs. She walked straight up and was about to turn towards the bathroom but Rory had the whole hallway blocked and she literally almost stepped on her. "What are you…" she stopped halfway through her sentence when she saw Rory was trying to fit all her stuff into a box. For someone who'd never lived here she did have an awful lot of stuff. "You're leaving?" she asked and Rory gave her a quick glance before she went back to her 'packing'. "I can't believe you! How can you just come back like this, crying and asking for help and then just pack up and leave?" Brooke asked, very upset.

"Come on Brooke, I'm doing everyone a favour," Rory muttered gloomily.

"A favour? Oh well thank you so much," Brooke said, heavy with the sarcasm. "I'm sure lucky to have a sister like you!"

Rory stood up, facing Brooke. "Why are you yelling at me?" she asked, holding her arms out wide. "I'm trying to do this, really I am," she sobbed.

"Really? Cause from over here, it looks a lot like giving up!" Brooke fired back al her emotions bubbling to the surface. Even though before she'd said she didn't want to fight, she knew know that that was exactly what they needed, to vent all their frustrations so they could finally get past this.

"If I leave…it'll make things a lot easier," Rory said calmly, though she felt anything but.

"For who exactly?" Brooke cried incredulously.

"For everyone," Rory told her.

Brooke brought a hand up to her forehead, pushing at her hair. "Oh well thanks a lot Rory! You know for letting 'everyone' have a choice in the matter," she exclaimed.

Rory sighed out and slowly collected herself for a minute. She met Brooke's blurry eyes and felt her own tears start to fall more rapidly. "Brooke, you don't know how sorry I am. You don't know how much I regret just getting up and leaving last year. But you had no idea what I was going through and you still don't. I tried to explain it to you but it's hard…"

"Well guess what Rory? That's called life! You get thrown fast balls and curve balls all the time...but you have to keep on swinging no matter what."

Rory dismissed the idea with a shake of her head. "I was never good at baseball…" she said, in other words saying she was never really good at life in general.

"That's because you don't try Rory," Brooke told her. "I get your first instinct to run, I have that to. But you need to just deal with it, you need to talk to somebody."

Rory threw her hands in the air, all semblance of a calm nature gone. "How could I talk to you when I know exactly what you're thinking?" she asked.

"I'm really the only one left rooting for you Rory. A lot of people were hurt when you left so if I were you I'd at least not push me away to. We need to talk, badly," Brooke told her.

Rory nodded her head. "I know, and I will apologize to everyone about what I did, how I did it. But Brooke I can't talk to anyone, I don't think I'm strong enough..."

"You are!" Brooke cut her off, her eyes wide. "I know you Rory! But that's not what I meant. I need to talk to you about me and all the things I went through this year," she exclaimed but didn't wait for Rory to say anything before she started back up again. "This year's been really hard for me Rory…I had all these different things going on. I was dating casually but now I'm in my fist serious relationship with him. I was fighting with my mom and my grandparents, and you weren't here…" she trailed off as she started to sob but managed to keep going, "…I really needed someone to talk to and I couldn't even get a hold of you. You're my sister Rory and one of my best friends."

"You have no idea how much I missed you. I wanted to call you every time I looked at a phone practically," she acknowledged.

"That doesn't matter," Brooke said despondently. "It doesn't erase the fact that you didn't."

Lorelai had heard the girls yelling at each other, but had decided to give them sometime. It was when she heard her daughter start to sob that she couldn't stop herself from going up there. She was first only thinking about a way to stop whatever they were fighting about but then she saw Rory packing all her stuff that thought flew out the window.

"What the hell is this?" she asked Rory, feeling anger and sadness invade her body. "Please Rory, tell me this is just some hilarious joke you've got planned out."

Rory shook her head and exhaled loudly through her tears, looking at Lorelai. "Please, don't both of you…Can you just…"

"No, I can't just!" Lorelai interrupted loudly. "Tell me what's going on here!" she demanded.

Brooke looked from Rory to her mom and then to the ground. "She's leaving…again," she said, her voice low and shaky.

"Brooke, I'm not leaving," Rory paused, very confused. "I don't know..."

"Well Rory you better figure it out soon! You can't just keep taking off whenever you feel like it!" Lorelai exploded, feeling her motherly instincts working in overdrive, even though Rory wasn't her daughter.

"I know that!" Rory said. "I'm not just leaving…I don't know what I'm doing," she said before rushing past both of them and down the stairs.

Lorelai and Brooke follow, right on her heels. She stops at the front door, and turns into the living room when Lorelai stops her with her outburst for a second. "You know this is making me have horrible flash backs to my own childhood," Rory falters only slightly but keeps walking. "Except there's only one difference," Lorelai said and grabbed Rory's arm, turning her around. "I wasn't running from the place I loved, the place I felt safe in."

"Lorelai, please stop…I can't," Rory implores.

"You know all about what I went through Rory, I told you all about it," Lorelai interrupts, madly. "So don't even think about telling me that you're leaving because this is hard. This is the place where your family is, your friends. This is your home Rory," Lorelai paused in her speech, inhaling. "I didn't have one when I left," she said soundly.

"I know that Lorelai, I do. I'm not trying to hurt you…" Rory explains. She knows she can't keep doing this, can't keep running away and lashing out at the people who love her.

Brooke suddenly cuts in her blue eyes holding a worried note to them but still overpowered by anger. "Rory I stood up for you when people talked and I fought on your side all this time. But I can't keep doing this. I mean, can you even imagine how hard this year's been? Can you imagine the months I went through after you left?" she interrupted. "Not knowing whether you had been stabbed or shot…"

"You can not dump this all on me Brooke!" Rory interrupted in turn, holding her hand out at the both of them. "I came to you, to the both of you. I thought you would understand and so I told you about everything…and you told me to leave. You didn't even try to understand it you just pushed me out the door."

"And I'm sorry about that, I am," Brooke let on. "But you didn't give either of us enough time. Rory, you can't just say something like that and expect people to just accept it and moved on."

Rory looked at Brooke like she had three heads. "I didn't expect you to!" she exclaimed. "Actually I thought you would be more sympathetic towards me."

Lorelai who had been silent for a while now cut in. "You chose how to live your life Rory," she said mater of factly. "I know you were put through a lot of hard times but you weren't some helpless victim."

Rory didn't know how to deal with all the emotions running through her and her cracking voice held testimony to that. "I know that, I'm not trying to justify my case or anything. I just can't deal with it right now, I thought I could but I can't.".

"I understand Rory. And I get that maybe you don't want to hear this but running away wasn't the answer then and it definitely isn't now," Lorelai told her, her words cutting deep.

"I screwed up. I know that," she cried out. "But you can't even begin to feel what I felt. You don't know the guilt I walked around with everyday."

"I'm sorry, you don't get to complain about that. You know why? Because you didn't try to talk to anyone about it!"

"I didn't because I knew I had to work out, whatever was going on, on my own," she tried to explain, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Oh well great decision genius. I see it really helped you out a lot," Lorelai huffed. "You can't just push things to the back of your mind, pretend they don't matter. They'll come right back to bite you in the ass, big time!" she told her smartly.

"I know what you're thinking Lorelai. But I could never have gone to you," she admitted. "What you said last year…Well let's just say it opened my eyes up to a lot of feelings I didn't know you felt towards me. "

Lorelai looked away for a second, remembering the awful things she'd said, they'd all said. "Look. I'm sorry about that okay but I didn't mean it," she told her softly and genuinely. "But you screwed up, I'd be the first to point it out to you. Still, that doesn't change the fact that I love you Rory. Like you were my own."

"Listen Rory it's okay to..." Brook started in.

"Brooke, please. I know you're only trying to help but I can't take this from you to," she sniveled, near the breaking point.

"Why not? You have to hear what she has to say," Lorelai said pointedly. "You've got to know that you owe her that, at the least."

"I know what I owe her but thanks for pointing it out to me," Rory lashed out.

"Both of you stop!" Brooke exploded and immediately Lorelai and Rory became quiet and looked at her, surprised by her outburst. "Don't you see what were doing?" she asked, and the others looked away guiltily. "We can't fight about this again. Rory, you came to me asking for help," Brooke told her, coming forward and clasping her hands in her own. "You said were scared, and I'm not going to let you take that back."

"I don't want to," Rory admitted lowly.

Brooke nodded slowly and took a deep breath before delving in. "Rory when you came to me last year and you told me that you'd been working as a hooker for a little while…" she had to pause for a minute to collect herself again. "I didn't understand. I didn't want to understand. All I could think of was how you were ruining your life, how you have so much more potential. Rory I couldn't stomach the thought of you doing something like that and I still can't," she admitted. "But you told me you're scared today and I'm hoping that means you've finally realized what you're doing isn't the answer, it isn't right."

Rory felt her eyes pool with tears during Brooke's speech and she nodded at the end. "I do," she said softly. "I always did. But I couldn't do anything else…I didn't have the money to pay rent or get food and I promised myself I would only do it once…" she sucked in a breath and tightened her grip on Brooke's hand. "It wasn't my first time but it felt like it. It hurt and I cried the whole way through it…but it didn't stop me from doing it again," she said, slowly walking over to the couch in the living room and sinking down onto it, pulling her legs up to her chest. "After a couple of times it's likes you sort of go numb, you just block out what you're doing. It didn't help that the girls I lived with were hookers to…they kept me in it, kept me going back. I don't blame them for it because it was my decision, I know that."

Brooke sat down next to Rory and rubbed her leg comfortably. "Rory it doesn't matter okay? That's all in the past," she told her straightforwardly. "You can move on, get your life back together. I'll help you do that, but you gotta promise me you won't go back to California."

Rory was silent for a moment, just thinking about what Brooke said. Could she really do it? Could she just leave everything behind and start over? Yes. She knew she could because there wasn't anything or anyone back in California that would stop her. She looked up at Brooke and smiled through her tears. "I do, promise. I want to start over," she said, amazed at how good it felt to say those words and actually mean them. "I'm sorry about how I left last year," she apologized finally.

"It's okay. I'll learn to live with your bailing instinct," Brooke told her. "I can forgive that easily. I'm going to really rise up and be the bigger person here," she finished, giving Rory a smug look.

"I see you're taking a liking to being the better person?" Rory asked, smiling.

"It's totally addictive!" Brooke exclaimed happily.

"Alright. I can deal with that but only for a bit," she said and leaned back into the couch.

Brooke laughed and held up her hand in mock surrender. "Don't worry I wont give you that much of a hard time." She paused, an evil smile turning her lips up. "Quitter!"

"Brooke!" Rory exclaimed, giving her a surprised look.

"I'm sorry!" Brooke smiled and giggled. "Whore!" she said jokingly.

Rory widened her eyes at her, but she knew Brooke was just teasing. "Whiner," she shot back.

"Bailer."

"Stiff."

"Delinquent."

"Nag."

Brooke scoffed, taking mock offense in that. "Loser."

"Butthead," Rory said smiling like a fool, and finally feeling 100 better.

"Freak."

---  
_In the terms of endearment  
In the terms of the life that you love  
In the terms of the years that pass you by  
In the terms of the reasons why  
---_

_Alright so I rewrote this, well the dialogue anyway. The plot of the fight in this chapter from Buffy (which I don't own by the way). A lot of people asked me about it the first time, but I changed the words so that they're my own. I'm sorry if some are still the same but I can honestly say that I deleted the dialogue and just wrote what I felt so that's not on purpose…_

_This gives you more background into who Rory's character is in this story and also ties in my inspiration from 'Pretty Woman'. _

_I want to thank everyone who reviewed, you guys are so awesome!  
_

_-Ella (Also very sorry about the lack of Finn in this chapter, but don't worry he'll be in the next one, where I can say Rory and Finn step up from their friendship:)  
_


	4. Rainbow Connection

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or Sarah McLachlan.

_**Full Of Grace**  
Rainbow Connection_

---  
_Why are there so many songs about rainbows?  
And what's on the other side?  
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,  
And rainbows have nothing to hide.  
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.  
I know they're wrong, wait and see.  
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.  
The lovers, the dreamers and me.  
---_

Rory was torn out of her peaceful sleep by the annoying ringing of a cell phone. She groaned loudly and buried her head underneath the blankets hoping to block the sound out. She presumed that soon enough whoever it was calling would hang up but the phone continued to ring non-stop. Sighing in defeat, Rory pushed the blanket down and slung her legs over the side of the bed and onto the floor. The minute they touched the cool metal zipper of the sleeping bag though she snapped them up. She impelled herself into a sitting position so she could inspect the floor beside the bed, making sure her sister's form wasn't lying there still. After seeing that all was clear, Rory hoped out of bed and over to Brooke's desk where she saw the phone.

Rory stared down at the tiny object, trying to find the glorious button that would stop the constant ringing. Giving up, she pressed the pad of her thumb to the keypad and started pushing random buttons, in hope that one would work.

"What are you doing?"

The sudden voice made Rory jump and drop the phone as her hand went to press against her heart. She exhaled loudly a couple times to regulate her breathing before fixing Brooke with a glare. "You know it's very evil to sneak up on people like that," she informed her, bending over to pick up the phone that had finally stopped ringing.

Brooke raised an eyebrow at Rory and poised her had on her hip. "Sneak up?" she question. "I'm in your direct view and this is my room," she told her pointedly, a smirk playing on her lips.

"Still evil," Rory muttered and was about to turn around and head straight back to bed, wanting to catch up on the sleep she'd been lacking in the past week, when the phone in her hand started to ring again. "Oh my God!" she yelped and held the object out to Brooke who was laughing somewhat subtly. "Make it stop," she begged feebly.

Brooke gave in and walked over, grabbing her phone and pressing a button before pushing it to her ear. "Hello?" she asked, frowning as Rory climbed back into her bed.

Logan who was on the other end smiled that she had actually picked up this time, unlike no one the last time he'd call and her mother before that. "Where did you scamper off to yesterday?" he asked his tone teasing.

Brooke let her own smile grow larger upon hearing his voice and she shifted on her feet leaning back against her desk. "Home."

"Home as in not your dorm," Logan stated.

"Home as in Stars Hollow," she replied innocently.

"Yeah well I don't mind," he said, earning a raised eyebrow from Brooke even though she knew he couldn't see her.

"You know that right there, it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside," she replied sarcastically, reaching down to the ground and picking up her stuffed rooster.

Logan laughed richly. "Well what can I say Ace, I'm a giver."

"Are you sure Logan?" Brooke asked trying her best to aim the rooster perfectly so it would hit Rory, whose eyes had popped open upon hearing that name. "Cause you know all those nights I spent in your bedroom could protest that statement."

Rory heard that sentence loud and clear and her mouth dropped open in shock. She'd never heard anything like that come from Brooke. She abandoned the notion of going back to sleep and instead pushed herself up. She had just straightened out when something soft and small collided with the side of her head, the impact knocking her still sleepy figure back down with a groan.

Brooke's hand froze out in front of her, her eyes wide and her mouth open when she saw the rooster crash into her sister. She couldn't help but feel her chest start to shake as laughter erupted from her throat. She almost couldn't breathe with how hard she was laughing, knowing it was only funny because the rooster would have missed Rory by a long shot had she not sat up.

Rory sat back up and launched the rooster back at her sister but her aim was completely off and the stuffed animal surged across the room and hit the window dead on. Brooke only laughed harder and Rory glared at her. "That wasn't funny," she pouted but could feel a smile threatening her lips.

"It was a little funny," Brooke said finally managing to calm down. She walked over to the window and picked up the rooster, laughing as Rory flinched on instinct. "Sorry about that Logan," she said into the phone placing the rooster on the foot of her bed.

Rory who had been going to pick it up again and launch another attack froze when she heard the name again. Logan was Finn's roommate and he'd said he was dating Brooke. She cocked her head to the side, watching her sister as she talked on the phone with this Logan guy. Rory had never really seen Brooke look like this before. Her cheeks were pink; obviously blushing from something he'd said, her blue eyes were sparkling with laughter and happiness and she had a wide smile on her lips that looked like it would never go away.

Her expression now was a lot different then the one she'd been wearing the day before. Rory hadn't wanted to fight, she hadn't wanted to rehash everything from last year, but it seems it was inevitable. And in this case the only thing that would help their relationship. Rory flashed back to everything they'd said to each other and she realized that she didn't regret the fight as a whole. Sure a couple comments she wished she could have kept to herself but it all seemed to work out for the best. But the only thing she could really concentrate on was how good it had felt, how good it still felt, to know that she wasn't going back to California. The day's of selling herself were over and Rory felt like a weight had been lifted off of her, she felt free and for once in control of her life. And she liked that feeling, she really liked it.

Rory snapped back into the present when she heard Brooke put her phone down on her desk and watched her turn and walk out of the room. It only took a second for Rory to be hot on her heels. She adopted an innocent look and plopped down in the kitchen table next to Brooke. "So who's your boy toy?" she asked, pretending like she didn't know who he was.

Brooke didn't blush or even look surprised by her question like Rory would have thought but instead she had the same mischievous glint to her eye and a smirk on her lips. "Who's yours?" she shot back.

Rory fought the urge to let her mouth drop open with that question and she folded her arms in front of her chest in a business like manner. "Brooke I've only been here two days…" Rory couldn't fight her hand that instantly smacked itself across her mouth as those words left it. She knew saying that was a mistake, she'd just reeled Brooke in hook, line and sinker.

"Oh really? And where, pray tell, did you stay?" she asked, acting as if she didn't already know.

"Nowhere," Rory replied shortly, averting her eyes. "I didn't stay anywhere."

"So what, you just dropped off the face of the earth for a night?" Brooke asked rhetorically. "Funny, I could have sworn that was impossible."

"Yeah well, I'm special," Rory exclaimed, pushing out of her chair and walking into the living room hoping to escape Brooke's questioning but to no avail her step-sister was right on her tail.

"Special enough to stay the night in Mr. Morgan's bedroom?" Brooke asked, perching herself on the armrest of the couch while Rory stretched out on it.

Rory paused before answering and looked up at Brooke. "I'm sorry, I don't know who that is," she told her which technically wasn't a lie because she didn't know Finn's last name.

"No?" she asked, sliding down onto the couch and beside my feet. "Tall, dark and handsome," she described him, listing the attributes on her fingers.

"You know Brooke, probably half the male population fits that criteria," Rory told her smartly.

"Australian," she declared simply.

Rory frowned at that one word that brought her down completely. "Okay so maybe I know who that is," she admitted.

Brooke nodded her head and pushed herself off the couch, grabbing a pillow and sitting down on it in front of Rory. She smiled encouragingly. "Good because I want to know what was going through your head when you agreed to go back to his dorm?" she asked hotly, all pretences of the happy Brooke from before gone.

"What?" Rory exclaimed, not liking her sudden mood change.

"Rory, you don't go home with guy's you don't know!" Brooke yelled throwing her hands into the air.

Rory looked at her bewildered for a moment before she sat up, a frown marring her features. "I'm sorry, do you not remember what I use to do for a living?" she asked sardonically.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "I don't care about that!" she shouted. "What I care about is how much danger you could have been in."

"He's your friend," Rory said, calming down after realizing Brooke was only worried about her.

"I know and I'm so grateful because any other guy…" she trailed off.

"I get it," Rory said and moved over on the couch, patting the spot next to her. "I'm sorry," she apologized after Brooke sat down.

Brooke smiled forgivingly and crossed her legs in front of her, her blue eyes playful once again. "So?" she asked, drawing out the one syllable word.

Rory laughed and focussed on Brooke with her famous Bambi eyes. "So what?"

"Well what happened?" she asked, her tone questioning.

"Nothing," Rory told her simply, lying back against the couch.

"Nothing?" she repeated, obviously not believing Rory.

"I met him, he scared the hell out of me and I went back to his dorm," she told her and off of Brooke's raised eyebrow she relented. "Okay fine, we talked about parts of my past, his problems with his dad and mine with my mom. Then I went to bed and in the morning Collin scared me half to death."

Brooke cut her off though by shaking her head and waving her hand until she got Rory's attention. "He talked about his dad with you?" she asked inquisitively.

"Yep," Rory replied lightly.

Brooke lent back, eyebrows raised and eyes wider then normal. "Wow," she exclaimed. "He doesn't like talking about his dad at all; I wouldn't think he would just tell a complete stranger."

Rory thought about that for a moment before turning her head to look at Brooke. "Well that's the beauty of it. With a stranger they don't know who you are or what you've done. They really can't judge you."

Brooke nodded her head. "Did you tell him about…?" she trailed off, not liking to say it out loud, especially since it was now a part of Rory's past.

Rory shook her head, combing her fingers through her hair. "No," she told her quietly. "I wanted to though…"

Brooke lifted her head to look more closely at Rory. She found her staring off into space, her eyes glazed over and her mouth parted slightly. She looked like she was deep in thought about something and Brooke couldn't help but hope it was about Finn. She'd been friends with the Australian for a year now and she knew a lot about him. She also knew a lot about Rory, and she knew they would be perfect for each other. Rory could teach Finn how to settle down and be with only one girl, and Finn could teach Rory to trust herself and to just be.

"Did anything else happen?" Brooke asked, breaking Rory out of her thoughts.

Rory shook her head but then a wide smile came onto her face and she looked at Brooke, a twinkle in her eye. "He took me shopping," she said excitedly. "Bought me clothes because all I had was a dress."

"Or those little scraps of material you try and pass as dresses!" Brooke scoffed, earning herself a shove in the shoulder.

The rest of the morning the two girls spent talking and laughing on the couch. It was a bonding moment of sorts, closing over old wounds they had between them. They finally forgave each other for everything they'd said and they finally moved past it. They talked until their throats hurt, laughed until they were gasping for breath and cried because they were really happy.

---

It was past noon when Rory and Brooke climbed into Brooke's car intent on heading back to Yale. Rory had brought up the fundamental question that was, 'If she wasn't going back to California, where was she going to live?' After much debate from both girls Rory had finally relented. She would be staying with Brooke in her dorm until she could find a place, which could take a while.

"Are you sure it's okay that I'll be staying with you?" Rory asked, turning to face Brooke, watching her navigate through the traffic.

"For the last time yes!" she exclaimed exasperated. "It's no problem."

"What about your roommate…" Rory trailed off, not really remembering the girls' name.

Brooke smiled something sad but happy. "Paris' boyfriend Doyle asked her to move in with him, she won't be a problem."

Rory nodded her head and faced the window, watching the passing cars and scenery for a minute. "What about the big guys at Yale?" she asked all of a sudden.

"The big guys at Yale?" Brooke sputtered, starting to laugh a bit.

"Yeah, the powers that be or something like that," she exclaimed.

Brooke furrowed her brows for a moment but she decided that Rory must be talking about the Dean or someone and so she smiled. "What about them?"

"Well I don't go to Yale, I mean won't they get mad if I just start living there?" she asked, images of her being carried of the campus by the police flashing in her mind.

"I hardly think they know every kid who goes to Yale," Brooke let her know.

"Yeah you're probably right," she said, nodding her head a couple times. "So what should we do when we get there?" she asked.

Brooke slowed the car down almost subconsciously as she turned to look at Rory with a guilty smile on her face. "Well actually…"

"Let me guess," Rory interrupted her. "Logan?"

"Logan," she repeated, her tone apologizing. "Listen Rory I'm sorry but he's kind of freaking out about you and…"

"Hey, Brooke it's okay," Rory told her reassuringly. "But I want one thing from you."

"Okay…" Brooke said hesitantly, thinking along the lines that agreeing to that is like making a deal with the devil.

Rory smirked and turned completely in her seat. "Tell me about this Logan guy," she said excitedly. "And I want details, okay? You leave something out you die!"

---

Rory had been sitting in the same position for about a half an hour now. She was on the couch in Brooke's dorm room, watching C-span play out on the TV and she couldn't possible be more bored. She flicked the TV off and jumped up onto her feet, searching the room for something to do. When she spotted a coffee maker, a wide smile made itself known on her face and she skipped over to it…only to find no coffee left.

"Well then I guess I'll just have to go get some," she mumbled to herself, completely disregarding Brooke's pleas for her to stay inside the dorm.

Rory put on her boots and walked towards the door, opening it only enough to peek out. After making sure Brooke wasn't anywhere around she walked all the way out and into the campus. Her hands instantly went to her arms, rubbing them to fend off the freezing January air.

"Gotta remember to invest in a warmer coat," she said bitingly.

"Talking to yourself love?"

Rory spun around with the sound of that voice and a smile unknowingly spread itself across her lips. Finn was standing in front of her now, annoyingly cute smirk in place and looking like her hero with two coffee cups in hand. "Hey," she said, her gaze focussed on the coffee instead of him.

Finn laughed and offered one of the cups to her, which she greedily took and started sipping on it right away. He walked to her side, offering this time his arm for her. He watched her eyes light up and she laughed slightly, threading her arm through his and they started walking again, his mere presence keeping her warm.

"So, how'd everything go with Brooke?" Finn asked after a minute. He wanted to hear that it went great because he knew that would make her happy but at the same time he wanted her to tell him it went horrible because then he would be able to offer her to stay with him. He'd always been selfish that way.

"It went really great, we talked about everything," she told him, making sure to leave out any information that might lead to him asking what was the problem between them. "We went to Stars Hollow last night." She didn't know why she told him that but she felt like she needed to justify why she wasn't around last night… _'It's not like he was looking for you or anything,'_ she argued with herself.

"So…" he trailed off, feeling all of a sudden nervous around her, like he was school boy with a crush. "You got a place to stay right?"

Rory smiled at his worry and she nodded her head. "In Brooke's dorm, her roommates moving out so I'm taking her room," she explained.

Finn raised an eyebrow. "Paris is leaving?" he asked, sounding thankful.

"Why so happy?" Rory asked, wondering why he was reacting like that.

Finn laughed and looked down at her, rosy cheeks and wind blown hair, beautiful in his eyes. "You obviously haven't met her," he said pointedly.

Rory laughed heartily and shook her head. "If she supposedly makes that kind of impression then I can't say that I have."

"It might be best to keep in that way, love," Finn told her cringing a little, obviously remembering something about Paris. He shook his head and his eyes landed on an empty expanse of snow up ahead. He looked behind them and noticed they'd been walking in the direction that passed behind the school. A mischievous twinkle lit up his eyes and he unhooked his arm from Rory's, coming to stand in front of her. "Play a game with me?" he pleaded, eyes begging her mercifully.

Rory instantly melted with one look into his beautiful brown eyes and she nodded. "What kind of a game?" she asked.

Finn held up his fingers, silencing her and then grabbed her coffee cup and ran off in the direction of the garbage can. "Don't worry love!" he called as he ran back up to her and grabbed onto her hand again. "Nothing illegal."

Rory laughed as she ran with him, almost smacking directly into his back when he stopped. She pressed her hand against his jacket to steady herself, smiling at the tingles that shot up through her arm. Finn turned around and placed his arms on her shoulders. "Okay love, now you gotta close your eyes," he told her, smiling as her face scrunched up with a frown.

"What kind of game is this?" she asked hesitantly.

Finn shuffled a little closer to her, his hands running down her arms and warming them completely. He was so close to her she could smell his aftershave and feel the heat emanating off his body. "It's definitely an interesting game," he told her his voice low and his accent thick.

Rory tilted her head to the side and looked straight into his eyes. "Why does interesting scare me?" she asked teasingly.

"I have no clue love," he told her, adopting a foreign expression of innocence. "I'm entirely trustworthy," he promised, smiling even wider when Rory's eyes fell closed slowly. He backed away from her, walking backwards so he could keep an eye on her.

"Why do I have to close my eyes?" Rory asked, crossing her arms in front of her, wondering what he was doing. She knew he'd walked off and she prayed he wasn't stranding her here like some joke. "Finn?" she questioned, feeling relieved when she heard him laugh. "Okay you know this isn't funny…" she was cut off suddenly as something cold and wet collided with her shoulder. Her whole body flinched from the cold and her eyes snapped open, looking down at her soaked shoulder and then to Finn, who was almost on the ground he was laughing so hard.

"It was a little funny love," Finn gasped, looking up and watching her shake the snow of her shoulder.

Rory nodded and pulled the layers away from her skin to get it from sticking. She looked over at Finn and fixed him with a playful glare. "You are so dead!" she told him and ran towards him but Finn shot to his feet and ran in the opposite direction, finally jumping behind a pile of snow. Rory bent down and started to make a pile of snow balls, ignoring the iciness of her hands. Rory smiled evilly and walked over to the wall of the school, slinking against it until she could clearly see Finn, who was peeking above the pile. Rory let a smirk play on her lips as she ran forward and started pelting Finn with snowballs and he fell backwards into the snow with a moan.

Rory ran out of snow as she came up to him and she stopped as she saw him sitting up. He was covered in snow from his hair to his pants and Rory couldn't help but start laughing at the sight. Finn smiled and brushed the snow off of him. "I gotta hand it to you love," he said, gathering her attention. "You did well."

"Well?" Rory asked, her tone jeering. "I whooped you!" she exclaimed, victoriously.

Finn laughed and leaned back on his elbows. "Okay fine," he caved. "How about a truce?" he asked.

"A real one?" Rory asked tentatively, stepping just a bit closer to him.

"A real one, I promise," Finn told her and waited until she sank down in the snow beside him until he brought out his hand from behind his back, snow packed inside his fist. "Or maybe not!" he yelled and dumped it over her head.

"Eeep!" Rory yelled and shrank away from him, shivering from the cold and she smacked him in the arm as he laughed. "You suck!" she exclaimed, cleaning the snow out of her hair and pouting slightly, as she fought to not start laughing to.

Finn laughed even harder at her vexed words but it died in his throat when he caught sight of her. She was lying beside him, her hair fanned out around her, her cheeks pink, her lips parted and her blue eyes filled with amusement and affection. She looked like an angel, like a bloody goddess to Finn and he instantly moved closer to her, the side of his body pressing against hers while he leaned over her a bit. His gaze flickered from her now wide eyes to her lips and he licked his own while thoughts of covering hers with his filled his mind.

Rory couldn't look away as their eyes locked on each other. He looked so gorgeous, leaning over top of her and Rory's hand, on its own accord, moved from her stomach to his arm, grasping tightly the material of his jacket. She let herself drown completely in his chocolate brown eyes before letting her own shift to his lips, to see that he was breathing very heavily. A blush highlighted her cheeks when she noticed where his eyes were focussed but at the same time desire spread throughout her entire body.

Finn slowly raised his glazed eyes to hers again. "A goddess," he breathed out, making her blush even harder. Finn smiled genuinely and leaned down closer to her, breathing in the scent of her hair, like a heady wine. Finn felt Rory tilt her head to the side giving him more room and more incentive to go on. He eagerly brushed hit hot lips against the shell of her ear, feeling her whole body quake under his touch. Finn let his lips traverse the expanse of silky skin leading to her neck. He darted into the nape of her neck and with his lips pursed, nipped at the skin there, using the same gentleness as would a cat lifting her precious kittens.

Then, with a series of little nips, he skilfully brought his lips around from the nape of her neck to the curve of her jaw and then let himself brush a gentle kiss across the side of her mouth, feeling her shoulder stiffen as his hand rested on it. Finn couldn't control himself any longer as he lifted his head back; watching her heavy lidded eyes drift closed and he swooped gracefully down through the air, bringing his lips down firmly onto the lips of Rory who was at this point quivering in his arms.

Rory's whole body sung at the contact between them and she eagerly pressed her lips harder into his lips. Finn kissed her as though, at that moment, nothing else existed in the world to him. She moved her lips against his softly, opening her mouth when his tongue teased her lips. She let her hand scale up his arm, pulling on his shoulder, making him fall on top of her. Rory welcomed the feeling of his body covering hers and wound her arms around his neck, pulling him harder against her.

The two of them only broke apart from each other when the need to breathe became too hard to ignore. Finn pulled back for a second, before resting his forehead against hers. They were both breathing heavily and staring into each others eyes.

"Hi," Finn breathed in front of her lips, unable to stop the huge smile curving his lips.

Rory let her eyes flutter closed again, as she replayed the kiss in her mind. She heard Finn but for the life of her she couldn't get herself to say anything back. Her mind was swimming and the kiss had completely erased any form of coherent thought from it. It had the best kiss of her life and the only thing she could do when she looked back into his eyes was smile widely.

_---  
All of us under its spell.  
We know that it's probably magic.  
---_

_Wow! I hope everyone likes that chapter. Some might think they're moving a tad to fast but I think of their feelings for each other as really passionate and that chapter just kind of came out like that!_

_Anyway please read and review,  
-Ella. _


	5. Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, Sarah McLachlan or any of the drinks mentioned in this chapter_**  
**_

_**Full Of Grace**  
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy_

_---  
All the fear has left me now  
I'm not frightened anymore  
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh  
It's my mouth that pushes out this breath  
---_

Brooke had been nervous about going over to Logan's dorm that morning. Their conversation on the phone hadn't been stressed or anything but Brooke knew Logan wasn't about to let her drop something as big as a sister on him and not explain anything. She knew how horrible she would feel if Logan suddenly introduced him to his brother who he'd never even mentioned. But in her defence Rory had been living in California for the whole time she'd known Logan and they hadn't been on speaking terms. But still she understood how Logan could think of it as either her not trusting him or even some form of betrayal for not telling him.

Brooke didn't want Logan to have to much time to think this through because she knew he would over think it and this could easily escalate into a huge fight. And so Brooke hurried the last couple of paces until she was standing outside his door. She knocked first, being polite and then walked in like she always did. She didn't Logan in the common room but that didn't worry her as he'd told her he'd probably in his room. He'd explained to her how Finn was starting to creep him out with his over the top cheeriness. Brooke made a mental note to fill him in on everything between Finn and Rory after this whole thing was sorted out.

Brooke stopped outside his door and pressed up closer to it, wondering if she might be able to hear something. Logan had a tendency to start talking to himself when he was thinking about something important. But Brooke didn't hear anything and so she pulled back, bringing her hand up and knocking heavily on his door. Before he could answer Brooke couldn't help but wonder if the reason she didn't hear him was if he'd already moved past the thinking stage and was on the take action stage. And if that was the case then it wasn't a good thing he'd asked her over.

"Brooke?"

Brooke shook herself out of her thoughts and finally noticed Logan standing in the now open doorway. "You called me Brooke," she stated, knowing he only called her that when he was being serious.

"Well I called you other things but you were to busy zoning out to hear me," he teased her.

Brooke laughed and walked into his room, closing the door behind her. She liked that Logan wasn't be different from his normal self…although she did notice the tension between them, which was definitely not of the good. "So what'd you do last night?" she asked, trying her hardest to stall what she knew was inevitable.

"I went to the pub with Collin and Finn," Logan told her evasively. "Where'd you go last night?"

Brooke blinked a few time in a rapid succession in her shock. "Where did I go?" she repeated.

"I swung by your dorm last night; you weren't there," he explained, his face still guarded, which concerned her.

Brooke knew she couldn't best around the bush anymore and so she levelled with him. "I took Rory to Stars Hollow."

Logan nodded along and held out his hand for a second before stepping in. "Rory, that would be your sister?" he asked, knowing he sounded like a jerk but not being able to help it.

"Yes," Brooke said. "Rory is my sister."

"Not Lorelai's though, because she didn't mention anything about her either or maybe that's just it!" he concluded, all his emotion coming to the surface and boiling over.

Brooke could not tell Logan was hurt and she rushed to explain everything to him. "She's my stepsister through my dad. She's been living in California, that's why you never met her."

"But you never even mentioned her. You talked about your town, your mom, Lane and Luke. You even talked to me about your dad and your other stepsister," he told her angrily. He looked away, running a hand through his hair and trying to calm down. "Do you even trust me?" he asked finally.

Brooke shook her head heavily the minute those words left his mouth. She moved closer to him, her blue eyes begging with him to believe her. "I do, Logan," she told him. "I do trust you."

"Cause I thought you did," he continued as if she hadn't said anything. "You told me about Dean, Brooke. You trusted me with that."

"Dean was my ex-boyfriend Logan, Rory's my sister!" she told him. "Things with Rory have always been harder. But last year we had this huge fight and she left and we didn't talk for the whole year."

That knowledge seemed to soothe Logan just a bit, but it was the pain in her eyes and her voice that made him come closer to her. "You would have told me about her if you two had been on speaking terms?" he asked hesitantly.

Brooke smiled widely and laced her fingers with his, stepping even closer to him. "You would have met her first thing," she promised him. "And now that she's staying here you'll meet her officially."

"She's staying?"

"Paris is going to move in with Doyle so she'll be taking her room," Brooke explained carefully, wanting to know how he felt about that. "You'll really like her," she promised him. "She's just like me."

Logan smiled and nodded, leaning down to brush his lips across hers in a gesture so intimate it told her breath away. "Well in that case maybe I'll up and leave you to be with her," he joked, earning himself a smack on the shoulder.

"I love how replaceable I am to you," she replied good naturedly, knowing he was only kidding. "Wouldn't work anyhow."

"Why not?" Logan asked, frowning. "Are you implying I couldn't get your sister to fall madly in love with me? Might I remind you that I got you, very easily."

"Oh please," Brooke scoffed, disregarding his comment with a roll of her eyes. "No matter how charming and suave you are Logan," she told him pointedly. "It would never work."

"Why not?"

"Because I think a certain Australian friend of yours might have a problem with it," she eluded.

"Finn?"

"Oh come on? You didn't think it's just a coincidence that his overly chipper mood started the same day you found out about my sister, who by the way spent her first night here with Finn."

Logan raised an eyebrow, obviously thinking about that for a moment. "How do you know he like's her. Finn's not known for his epic romances," Logan advised her.

"Please, you Yale men are simply helpless against Gilmore girls," she said, puffing out her chest as she walked by him.

"If Rory's your sister through your dad then she's not a Gilmore," he stated making Brooke deflate but only for a split second.

"Just because she doesn't actually have the name doesn't mean she isn't a Gilmore."

"Well, technically yes it does," he told her smartly while sitting down next to her. Brooke only looked at him for a second before shaking her head and falling down on the bed.

---

Outside the warm and inviting Yale dormitories the campus had been slowly turned into a winter wonderland. Huge snowflakes were falling from the sky, sticking to the ground and rather unwilling to melt. The whole scene looked beautiful, like a precious painting that could only have been seen in someone's imagination but it was real.

Rory and Finn's intimate moment had been broken by the little flakes when they first started their downwards descent. Rory had always been a firm believer that snow made everything just a touch more magical. Especially for her because living in California, you didn't see snow a lot or practically at all. She'd eagerly sat up after Finn had rolled off of her, with her mouth open hoping to catch some of the flakes on her tongue. When she'd turned around to face Finn again she'd noticed that he had been staring at her with an amused expression on her face. Rory had only laughed and threatened to initiate another snowball war, to which Finn had stood up and offered his hand to her.

The two young adults were now walking along the campus, hand in hand, enjoying the afternoon. Rory's mind was buzzing; it kept going back to the kiss and replaying it back to her, over and over again. She couldn't believe that one kiss was affecting her so much. She'd kissed a lot of guys and done a lot more with them, considering her past but never had she felt like this. Even after it had happened she still felt goose bumps along her arms and down her spine. Just thinking about it made her heart start to beat faster and head cloud over. Rory couldn't help but keep looking over at Finn, wondering if he was feeling the same things, wondering if his hand was tingling like hers was.

"So where to luv?" Finn asked, breaking the silence that had been lingering over them, not that it had been anything but comfortable.

Rory looked at him and then let he eyes wonder over the campus. She's only been hear a couple times and none it the past little while. "I think it's safer if you choose," she told him.

Finn tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at her. "Safer?" he asked.

"Trust me," she said, a slight lilt in her tone.

"Well alright then," Finn said and gently pulled her to the right and down another pathway. "I believe I'll take you to the pub. Might meet some of my friends," he exclaimed, happy to have her company for a little while longer.

"Friends?" Rory question, grinning from ear to ear. "And hear I thought you were hanging around me because you didn't have any."

"Well look at that, we've got a comedian in our midst!" he exclaimed happily as the two of them walked straight to the entrance into the pub.

Rory entered the small local first, while Finn held the door open behind her. She stood at the entrance, letting her eyes fly over the whole establishment, a genuine smile spreading across her features. She took in the darker corners, the closely knit tables and booths, the bright and richly stocked bar, feeling completely at ease in the welcoming and friendly atmosphere.

"You like?" Finn questioned by her right ear, making a shiver zip down her spine.

Rory nodded and leant back into him, just slightly. "I love it," she told him truthfully.

Finn smiled and placed his hand on Rory's back, guiding her farther into the pub, where he easily saw a booth occupied by none other then Stephanie and Collin. He saw them wave at him and then watched as Collin pointed at Rory and then Stephanie looked her over once. Finn rolled his eyes at their not so subtle antics and stopped Rory from walking any more and stepped in front of her.

"Hey listen, there's a couple of my mates here but I totally understand if you want to go sit somewhere else," he explained, catching her eye.

Rory almost melted at his thoughtfulness but she found herself shifting up onto her tip toes to see his friends. All she saw was a guy and a girl staring straight at them and she smiled before looking back at Finn. A little part of her wanted to spend the night with him in small secluded area but the more curious part of her wanted to meet his friends. "You're sweet," she started and then motioned over at the table behind him. "But I think I want to meet your friends."

Finn nodded his head. "I'm glad," he told her, starting to walk over there but talking quietly into her ear. "I think Stephanie would have had a coronary if we didn't sit with them."

The minute either of them got within a foot of the table, Stephanie had already pounced on them. "So Finny, who's your friend?" she asked in a sugary sweet tone.

Finn cringed but falling back onto his many years of proper upbringing he motioned from Stephanie to Rory. "Steph this is Rory, Rory this is Stephanie Grant."

Rory smiled politely and shook the blonde girls offered hand before sitting down in the other side of the booth. "It's nice to meet you," she said automatically, having been made to say that to everyone her mother had every introduced to her.

"You to," Stephanie said sweetly and then turned to Finn but when he didn't say anything she rolled her eyes. "Obviously Finn's forgotten his manners," she commented dryly.

"I introduced you!" he exclaimed in his own defence.

"What about Collin?" she asked, pointing at the guy sitting next to her who kept looking between Rory and Finn.

"We've already met," Collin filled in, speaking for the first time since their arrival. "Rory."

Rory smiled, not as brightly when she'd greeted Stephanie but still smiled. "Hi," she greeted, meeting his eyes and forcing herself to not look away. If there was one thing in the whole world she could get rid off it would have to be her inexplicable fear to any male when she first met them.

Finn had noticed the quiet exchange between them and thought back to the morning when Rory had met Collin. He moved his hand from the booth's cushion and grabbed Rory's hand underneath the table, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "So," he addressed the table whole heartedly, "how about drinks all around?"

Collin drummed his hands on the table top and turned to Steph. "I'll get them this time. What do you want?" he asked directly.

The blonde thought for a moment before she smiled and bounced a bit giddily. "A blue cosmopolitan," she answered.

Collin quickly turned to Rory and pointed at her, silently asking the same question. "Umm," Rory paused trying to think of what she would like to drink. "A margarita," she finally settled on.

Collin slid out of the booth and started to head over to the bar when Finn yelled out to him. "Hey! Get me a Bundy'nCoke, mate!"

As Collin headed on over to the bar and Finn returned his attention to the table again he noticed the confused looks on both girls faces. "What's wrong?" he asked after a second.

Stephanie nodded her head over in the direction of the bar. "What did you order?" she asked, scrunching up her nose.

"Rum and coke," he said, obviously not catching onto why they were so confused. "Bundaberg rum," he explained further.

Rory laughed and leaned her elbow on the table. "You Aussie's and your slang," she exclaimed.

"They're from a whole other world," Stephanie commented, earning a dry look from Finn, which she ignored and kept her attention on Rory. "So when did you meet Collin?" she asked just as the man in question returned to the table laden with four drinks, which he passed around.

Rory looked up at the question, a little surprised as she thought that was what Collin had been telling her when he'd first seen them. "Well actually…I met him yesterday, morning."

Stephanie almost choked as she sipped at her blue drink, quickly covering it up with a couple of coughs. When she finally settled down she realized she had the attention of every at the table along with a couple other people who were seated near them. "Sorry," she apologized quickly, nervously stirring her drink.

Collin who had been staring at her with his eyebrow raised in a questioning manner, sighed out and leaned back, sliding his arm across the back of the booth. Rory watched him, noticing the way he let it slip down until it was resting slightly against the blondes shoulders. She smiled mischievously from behind her tall glass.

"Rory didn't have anyplace to stay, so I let her crash in my room," Finn explained, clearly understanding what was wrong with his two friends seated opposite them.

Collin was about to comment on that but held his tongue when he caught sight of Finn's expression. His friends' normally happy and smiling face was glaring at him in a silent warning, his brown eyes boring into him. "So Rory," he announced loudly, making Rory jump slightly as she looked up at him. "What brings you to Yale?"

"Umm, well," she whispered and then turned back to Finn who just shrugged in response. "I'm actually here to visit family," she told him rather vaguely.

Stephanie twisted her expression and fixed Rory with a sympathizing look. "I guess condolences are in order," she said sarcastically.

Rory cracked a real smile, finally having found something that she could relate to with Finn's friends. "Well actually not now," she told them. "But keep those sentiments until before I go back home and I'll be happy to have them."

The perky blonde laughed, nodding her head vigorously. "I'll be sure to do that," she promised, her soft brown eyes lighting up with laughter, making Rory a lot more comfortable around her. "I have the same relationship with my parents."

From beside Stephanie, Collin raised his drink into the air in a boastful manner. "I'll drink to that!" he exclaimed and they all laughed, sipping out of their glasses.

"We've all got problems like that, kitten," Finn added, feeling the affects of his now empty glass already.

Collin sat his glass down on the table and laid his arm out, pointing it at Rory. "So where is home for you?" he asked, always curious about new people, especially now that Finn seemed to be so protective of her.

Rory looked into his eyes, thinking that if he had asked her that no more then five minutes ago she probably would have been reluctant to tell him but now she felt sort of relaxed among this crowd now. "California," she said, "Los Angeles, actually."

Stephanie squealed and clapped her hands together. "Wow! I've always wanted to live in LA," she told Rory.

Collin scrunched his eyes together and turned in his seat to face her. "Why?" he asked.

Both Rory and Stephanie rolled their eyes at the same time. "Rodeo drive!" Stephanie told him, smacking his shoulder lightly. She then looked over at Rory and smiled genuinely. "So what family are you happy to visit?" she asked her, drifting back to their previous topic of conversation.

Rory smiled despite herself and glanced over at Finn who was watching her closely. "My sister actually," she said. "And I'm not just visiting."

"Does she go here?"

Rory nodded to Steph's question. "I'm going to move in with her, in her dorm."

Finn took that moment to step in and tugged a little on her hand underneath the table, gathering her attention. "Why don't you take some classes here love," he suggested.

Stephanie had been surprised to see Finn propose that and let her gaze instantly switch to Rory, who looked like she felt the same way. But unlike Finn Steph also noticed the flash of panic that swept across the brunettes face and she didn't know why but she felt the need to change the subject. She wasn't really sure but she liked Rory and it would be great to have a third girl around.

"Ooh! Who's your sister? I wonder if I know her?" she exclaimed, smiling through Rory's grateful look.

Finn, who had been easily snagged by the question and distracted from what he was suggesting to Rory, looked elated. "Well actually love, you do know her."

"She does?" Collin asked, looking from Rory to Stephanie.

Rory chose that moment to cut in. "You all do," she said. "My stepsister, Brooke Gilmore?" she said in a more questioning tone.

Stephanie stared at her, without moving, speaking or blinking for a moment before she opened her mouth to say something but closed it right away. She lifted her hand up, pointing her finger at Rory and closing her eyes for a second. "Brooke?" she repeated and Rory nodded her head. "Your sister?"

"Stepsister."

Collin had had the exact same reaction as Stephanie and he looked over at Finn's smirking face. "Did Brooke ever say anything…?"

"She wouldn't have," Rory answered his question easily, casually draining her glass. "We weren't really on speaking terms for the past year, so I doubt she would say anything about me," she explained already expecting their confused looks.

"What were you fighting about?" Stephanie asked, finally moving past her shock at finding out that Rory was Brooke's sister. Unlike the guys at the table Stephanie was the only one who had known that Brooke had a stepsister. Brooke had told her during one of their girl's nights but she hadn't told Steph her name or where she lived or anything.

Rory once again cringed at their questions, looking down into her empty glass and wishing she could have another one in her system to give her a little more courage. "She…umm," she stammered, trying to think of something to tell them. "She wanted me to move out here but I stayed in California," she said, not feeling as tremendously guilty because that was part of the truth.

"So what do you do?" Collin asked.

Rory's eyes went wide at the question. "Do?"

Steph had once again seen the expression on Rory's face and she smacked Collin for the second time that night. "I think he means do you work or something?" she asked, drawing her eyebrows together when Rory's panicked expression didn't go away only intensified and she could see the girl scrambling to find something to say.

"I…worked," Rory told them, averting her eyes from theirs and untangling her hand from Finn's grasp, feeling guilty about lying to him. "In sales." That was her fall back option in case anyone ever asked her what she did, but the questions till managed to throw her each time she heard it.

When Rory finally turned her head back to the group, she met Finn's eyes first and she saw the tiniest flash of hurt inside the brown depths before it was gone. She wanted nothing more then to grab his hand again but he'd laid them both on the table in front of him and so she couldn't.

Steph was acutely aware of the tension now settling thickly over their table and she rushed to find something to divert it. "How about more drinks?" she asked, seeing as everyone's glasses were empty.

Everyone at the table looked up at hr outburst, grateful though as it was. They all signalled for another drink and Steph stood up and slid out of the booth but made no move to head towards the bar. "Collin?" she asked.

The man in question turned to look at her. "What?" he asked dryly.

"Why don't you and Finn go get the drinks?" she asked, a plan beginning to form in her mind. "And Rory and I can head to the little girls room."

Rory's head snapped up at her name and she met Steph's hazel eyes and nodded. "Okay," she agreed readily.

Finn had gotten out of the booth to, so that Rory could slide out after him. The four of them now stood just in front of their table all looking at each other. "Why do we have to get the drinks?" Collin asked.

"Because," Stephanie argued weakly, trying to think up something, "…because you're big, strong and strapping men while we're mere little…girls?"

"Try again," Colin ordered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well you see," Rory jumped in, having slowly returned to her normal self when she was no longer the centre of attention again, "I was brought up in a strictly, sexist society."

"LA?" he asked, tilting his head to the side in an air of disbelief.

Rory nodded her head enthusiastically. "Yes and I was taught that women can do nothing for themselves."

"Which means you have to get our drinks while we go to the bathroom," Steph finished for her, grinning from ear to ear in triumph.

"Rubbish!" Finn cried out dramatically. "How can you go to the bathroom by yourselves then?" he asked, finding a loophole.

"Girls never go to the bathroom by themselves, or have you not noticed?" the blonde asked, stumping them once again. "Face it; women are merely on this planet to look pretty."

Rory felt like laughing at that very moment, knowing that this was probably the only time in her life when she would agree to that, having always been a very independent woman. "We'll be right back," she told them and followed Stephanie to where she guessed the bathrooms were.

The two girls walked directly to counters, looking into the mirror to check their appearance merely by habit. Rory could see that her hair was still damp from the snow and she threaded her fingers through it making sure it didn't tangle or anything. She could tell Stephanie was watching her, having seen her turn towards her in the mirror but mostly she could feel her eyes on her, studying.

"I can't believe I didn't see the resemblance," she said at last, shaking her head in what looked like surprise.

Rory stopped fussing with her hair and turned to look at the girl beside her. "Not a lot of people do, especially when they don't know we're even related," she explained.

Steph nodded her head and seemed to be in deep thought about something. She averted her eyes from Rory and instead looked into the mirror, watching her own reflection. "Brooke told me about you," she finally said in a quiet voice.

Rory looked surprised. Her blue eyes bulged out for a second before she exhaled loudly and leaned back against the counter, careful to avoid the parts dampened by water. "I didn't think she told anyone," she admitted.

"It wasn't in detail or anything. She just told me that she had a stepsister and that you guys weren't really speaking." Stephanie pushed away from the counter and walked out into the small bathroom, starting to pace back and forth in a nervous habit she had. "I'm sorry about earlier," she finally said, stopping and facing Rory.

"For what?"

Steph rolled her eyes but laughed happily all the same. "Nice bambi act," she told her, a smile lighting up her eyes. "Collin and I are just a little protective over Finn."

Rory smiled innocently and genuinely at the same time. "Finn's really great. I've never met another guy like him," she gushed, feeling herself go warm just thinking about him.

Stephanie stared at her for a moment, making the brunette more then uncomfortable until a wide grin spread across her face; baring two rows of gleaming white teethe. "You like him," she stated.

Rory was shocked to hear that and she sputtered for a moment, her heart and her mind racing a mile a minute. "I...do not," she finally managed to choke out, not convincing herself in the least.

Stephanie smirked and walked over. "You might wanna work on that act a little more," she advised. "Not that it matters!"

Rory looked at her sceptically. "Why not?" she asked, hesitantly.

"He likes you to," she told her, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Rory couldn't stop the blush that tinted her cheeks as her mind instantly replayed the kiss from just a mere hour ago in her head. She shook her head but said nothing to refute what Steph had told her, knowing it would be a lost cause. She then finally looked up and saw the smug look on the blonde's face and she felt a smirk of her own creep up. "I guess you would be the one who would know for sure," she said vaguely, turning back to the counter and uselessly washing her hands.

Stephanie's curiosity had been piqued and she walked back over, standing closely to Rory. "What do you mean?"

Rory laughed, walking past her to get some paper towel to dry her hands off. "Well what with you and Collin," she told her.

Stephanie bit back her next words and sagged against the waist-high counter, shaking her head. "How?" Was the only word she uttered.

Rory shrugged and walked over to Stephanie, pacing a friendly hand on her shoulder. "You spark," she told her simply.

Steph looked up and she smiled. "So do you and Finn," she told her matter of factly.

The two girls stood together for a minute, alone in the bathroom of a random pub on the Yale campus. Rory would have never thought her life would ever lead her back here. She never would have thought she'd be in this kind of position, in the place of power in her life. She'd finally gotten out of the life she'd had in California, she'd gotten so far out she'd moved across the country!

Then, as Stephanie and her walked out of the girl's bathroom and back towards the table, talking about nothing important, something inside Rory clicked. She didn't know what it was, or why it happened but she knew what it meant.

She fit.

She fit in this world, with these people. She had everything she'd always wanted in her grasp and it felt better then she ever could have imagined.

And as she sat back down in the booth, sipping on her second drink for the night and talking animatedly with people she hoped she could call her friends, everything in the world made sense.

Because for once she wasn't questioning it.

_---  
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it  
I won't fear love  
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it  
I won't fear love  
---_

_Very sorry for the long wait for this chapter but it just didn't seem to come out right. I think I'm finally happy with it though. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you guys are amazing and I love you all! You rock!_

_Just a little note: This is going to be the last update for about three weeks or so because I'm going on vacation and I won't have access to a computer but I will write lots and update the day I get home!_

_Hugs and Kisses, _

_-Ella_


	6. Building A Mystery

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or Sarah McLachlan.

_**Full Of Grace**  
Building a Mystery_

_---  
You're so beautiful  
with an edge and a charm  
but so careful  
when I'm in your arms  
---_

Rory couldn't remember a time when she'd felt this happy, this relaxed. Her whole body was loose, her heart light and her spirit soaring. As she looked around at her surroundings she couldn't help a wide smile grace her features. She'd made it there at last. Made it to the point in her life she'd always wanted to be at. She'd finally gathered the strength and support to turn her back on California and it had been the best thing she'd ever done, because it had brought her to Yale, to her sister, and to the man walking close by her.

They'd only recently left the pub, Rory explaining that Brooke was probably wondering where she was. Ever the gentleman Finn had offered straight away to walk her home, claiming there were a lot of bad men in the world and such a pretty girl shouldn't be out alone. The comment had made her cheeks flush crimson but the raw emotion in his voice had made her knee's weak and her stomach tighten.

Stephanie had shot her a knowing look after Finn's offer, like she'd known the affect it had had on Rory. After her and Steph had left the bathroom and headed back to the table, the four of them had lost themselves in a long, witty conversation about millions of different things. Rory had been shocked that the time had flew by so fast when she'd looked at her watch. Gone were the distant and protective friends Finn had first introduced her to and in their places were friendly and sociable people.

Before they'd left, Collin and Finn had done the famous man hug to which Rory and Stephanie had rolled their eyes. The blonde girl had come closer to Rory and quickly enveloped her into a warm hug that left Rory stunned into silence. She knew she would never forget the four words that Stephanie had whispered into her ear before she pulled back.

_Welcome to the group._

At first Rory had shrugged them off, thinking she was just being nice but after she'd fixed her eyes on Collin she'd known that what she'd said was true. She no longer felt the hard stare he'd been giving her before, no longer felt his intimidating gaze sweep over her body. Something clicked in her when she looked into his eyes and saw respect shining in them. She'd had no clue what he respected her for and she was still trying to piece together a reason but coming up short every time.

Rory had never thought she would ever fit in with that kind of crowd; the rich, spoiled children whose parents were definitively from old money. She could remember all her different encounters with them from the past. Older men coming to her, asking to have her for the night and her disgust when she could clearly see the gold ring shining on their finger, the young guys wanting to rebel even further from their parents and anger them by bringing her somewhere public. Even further back she could remember the many events she'd been forced to by her mother, pressed into a monstrosity of a dress and paraded around like she was a piece of meat.

All that time with those types and not once had she seen them friendly or smile genuinely. Everything had been forced, nothing sincere about the words they'd uttered to her, the praise her mother had given her in their presence empty and void of true meaning. But she was used to it by now and she did let it bother her…much.

"You alright?" Finn asked all of a sudden, tearing her from her deep thoughts. He'd been watching her closely since they left the pub. This girl beside him was such a mystery and he couldn't help this growing need he had to find out everything about her. He wanted to know how she'd been feeling when they were at the pub because her eyes had been sparkling with mirth and excitement. He wanted to know what she was thinking about so intensely and how it made her expression turn distant and sad. He wanted to lift her heavy thoughts, wanted to make her smile and laugh again.

Rory did manage to curl the side of her lips at him, the corner of her eyes wrinkling slightly. She sighed out at the worried expression swimming in his dark, chocolate brown eyes. Rory couldn't help but feel a fluttering sensation in her stomach as his eyes narrowed on hers gently. "Lot of thoughts," she told him softly, feeling an almost overwhelming urge to open up and tell him everything.

Finn frowned and slowly bent down, grabbing her hand and enveloping in his own. He watched their conjoined hands with a slight smile, liking the intimate contact and letting the pad of this thumb brush over her skin in a comforting way. "Girl like you shouldn't be thinking that hard," he whispered, suddenly wondering when it was that he changed so much. Never before had he cared for a girl so much, never had he spoken so gently, showed so much affection.

"A girl like me?" Rory questioned, letting her curiosity get the best of her. She wanted to know what she looked like to him. Wanted to memorize the way he was gazing at her and what he would say next because she knew that it would all change once he found out who she really was.

"Beautiful," he said lightly, letting a small smile play out on his lips, "Young." Finn wanted to say innocent the moment her cheeks blushed pink but he knew that it wouldn't be true. There was something in her eyes that told him she wasn't innocent anymore and that she'd seen the world for what it really was.

Rory felt her heart start beating louder at the first word. She'd never taken a mans compliments to heart, knowing that they were shallow and meant absolutely nothing but the way Finn had just told her she was beautiful, he made it sound worshipping. It was the second word he used to describe her that had her blue eyes dampening with unshed tears. And again the urge to explain everything to him came crashing down around her. She wished she could tell him differently, wanted to tell him that however young she may look physically, she wasn't a kid. She wanted to make him see that you grew up fast when you always had to taken care of yourself, wished more then anything to be able to tell him that she'd had to be a woman before she was even a girl.

Rory hadn't known what to say in response to that and so she almost sighed in relief when she saw Brooke's dorm come into view. She pointed over at it and led him straight to the oak door in the hallway. The two of them stood silently by the door, both suddenly feeling an awkward silence settling over them. Rory couldn't think of what to say even though her mind was being overrun my millions of thoughts and questions. She didn't know how she could ever express in words how much Finn meant to her, which scared her in a lot of different ways. Never had she allowed herself to become attached to a guy, never let herself feel for them. But before she could even realize it this man in front of her had taken those rules and thrown them out the window. He'd implanted himself in her life in only a couple days, he'd changed her and she knew she would have to get a greater hold on her emotions before they ran off with him…or maybe that was what she wanted?

"So…" she said, clasping her hands together in front of her and cursing herself for sounding like some teenage girl with a crush.

Finn smiled at her and ran one hand through his already dishevelled hair, messing it up even more. He had no clue what to say to her, which was making him more then uncomfortable. He was a ladies man, had always been but then again this girl in front of him was unlike any girl he'd ever met. "Can I see you tomorrow?" he asked suddenly, forcing himself to get the words out before he could wimp out.

Rory would have had to be deaf, blind and stupid not to sense the tension hanging in the air around them, the same tension that had been there the whole walk back from the pub. But with one sweet laugh Rory cut the tension in half and offered Finn a wide smile. "Sure," she answered coyly.

Finn let a smirk spread across his lips as he nodded at her response. "I'll come by around 1," he confirmed.

"Okay," Rory said and then turned around, reaching for the door knob and pushing through the door. "Sweet dreams," she whispered, not quite looking over her shoulder before she disappeared into the room.

Rory couldn't stop smiling as she made her way over towards her new room. She kept replaying the whole day in her mind like a private movie screening. She knew it was easily the best day of her life and she felt like she was floating. Her reliving of the day was abruptly cut short though when something hard smacked her over the back of the bed.

"Oww!" Rory cried, bringing her hand up to the sore spot and turning around to glare at Brooke who was holding a rather large book in her hand. "You know in civilized countries people usually just say hello."

Brooke folded her arms in front of her and jutted out one hip, adopting a stance and a glare that eerily reminded Rory of her mother. "And where have you been gallivanting around all day?" she asked heatedly.

Rory looked at her evenly before turning back around and entering her room. "Have a cow Brooke," she said off handily. "I was just out with friends." Rory sat down on the edge of the bed and bent down to take of her shoes, shifting her eyes towards Brooke she smirked a little. "Your friends actually."

Brooke looked confused and dropped her arms, letting them fidget around the hem of her shirt. "Which ones?" she asked walking more into the room. It looked weird not being covered in the many posters and papers and books that Paris had. No matter how annoying the blonde could have been or how much Brooke may have complained about her, they were still friends, good friends. She knew it would take a while to get used to not seeing her everyday.

Rory threw her shoes over to the other side of the room and then shrugged her jacket off before flopping backwards onto the bed. "Stephanie, Collin and Finn," she told her, feeling her smile grow at the names.

Brooke lifted an eyebrow in surprise and then sat down next to Rory. "Really?" she asked, hugging her knee's to her chest.

Rory lifted herself up so she was leaning on her elbows and turned her gaze to Brooke. "Yeah, they're really cool," she told her happily.

Brooke smiled slightly and nodded her head obviously agreeing with that statement. "And you guys hung out, like all day?" she asked, not knowing why it bugged her so much. "What about you and…" she trailed off, biting her tongue.

"What about me?" Rory asked, immediately growing defensive.

Brooke reached for Rory's hand, rushing to explain what she'd meant. "No I didn't mean it like that! I just…" she sighed out, trying to find the right words to describe what she was thinking.

"You want to know what I told them about myself?" Rory asked sullenly, averting her eyes from Brooke's identical blue ones. "Well you don't have to worry, because I didn't say anything serious about myself," she told her bitterly, her tone laced with an edge of anger as she pushed herself off the bed, ripping her hand out of Brooke's grasp.

Brooke watched her start to pace back and forth, ringing her hands until they started to turn blotchy. "I'm sorry," she whispered, hugging one of Rory's pillows to her chest. "I shouldn't have asked that."

"No! You shouldn't have!" Rory said, raising her voice. She stopped pacing so she was staring straight at Brooke and embraced her stomach with her arms. "Are you really that ashamed of me?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Brooke shook her head instantly and jumped off the bed, walking straight to Rory. "No, Rory I'm not ashamed of you, I could never be!" she pleaded with Rory to understand.

"Then what are you trying to accomplish by making sure no one knows about me?" she asked, taking a step back, distancing herself.

Brooke looked down, feeling her throat close over as she tried to force the words out. She didn't know if she should admit to Rory what she was doing, what she had been doing ever since the last year. "I'm…" Brooke took a deep, calming breath and turned her back to Rory, knowing it would be easier if Rory wasn't looking at her. "I'm trying to protect you."

"What?" Rory asked, her arms dropping down to her sides and her eyes wide with shock.

Brooke shook her head, her hair cascading over her shoulders in loose curls. "It didn't work," she admitted softly, shifting her weight from foot to foot nervously. "It didn't help you…or me."

Rory opened her mouth, her throat was quickly growing dry and she could feel the sharp sting of tears in her eyes. "Why?" she finally choked out, so much emotion hidden in that one word.

"I didn't want anyone to know," she said, slowly turning around. "I didn't want them to look at you differently, like you were weak. Because you weren't and you aren't!" Her anger was quickly shining through and Rory watched as her fist tightened around the material of her shirt, her knuckles almost turning white with the effort. "Everyone cried, you know. Lorelai, me…dad," she whispered the last word almost maliciously. "I cried at night, away from everyone else. I cried for you, because I knew you couldn't cry. But no one else understood why I think. Chris came back that week…I never told you."

Rory could barely see straight, her eyes were so blurry from the tears. She quickly wiped them away, her sleeve dampening from them but she didn't even feel it. "He…he went back there?" she asked, her voice trembling a tiny bit.

Brooke nodded; she could see so many emotions in Rory's eyes. Pain. Hate. Guilt. So many emotions that ripped right through her, making her feel every one of them like they were her own. She wanted so much to be able to help Rory, to be able to finally let her leave her past behind her. But she wasn't naïve enough to think she ever could, because Rory bore scars form her past, physical scars and emotional ones. And scars like that don't heal easily.

"I don't know what he wanted…answers maybe?" Brooke pondered aloud. "Forgiveness?"

"It wasn't his fault," Rory immediately said. She'd spent too much time, to much energy on blaming her father in the past. She liked to think she was old enough, wise enough to understand now that it was never his fault. No matter how much he may have ignored her or how many bad decisions he made, it wasn't his fault that she'd become a hooker.

"You know you can tell him that, repeatedly, and he won't listen," Brooke said knowingly. "I actually felt bad for him when he came to the house. He looked really bad," she told Rory wanting to see what her reaction would be.

Rory felt herself choke up again upon hearing those words. She couldn't stop her mind from conjuring up a picture of their dad; his hair unkempt, clothes wrinkled, eyes wild. It made her heart clench painfully and guilt spread throughout every inch of her body because she knew she was the reason why he had been so…broken. It didn't matter that she didn't talk to him that much, didn't matter that she saw him even less. He was still her dad and she still loved him and so it hurt to think of him that way, but it scared her to even consider going to see him. She knew without a doubt she wasn't ready for that, wasn't strong enough yet. Hopefully, sometime in the future she would be able to mend things between them but she wasn't sure…

"I don't blame him anymore," Rory repeated, trying in vein to make sure everyone knew that. "I used to."

"I blamed him at first," Brooke admitted, moving to sit on the bed, her head falling into her hands. "I yelled at him…I've never yelled at him like that before. But I was just so angry…"

Rory smiled reassuringly and walked over to Brooke and knelt down in front of her. "Hey?" she asked, reaching out and inching Brooke's chin up so they could look at each other. "I don't want you worrying about me okay? I can take care of myself," she promised.

"I know, you've proved that," she said, laughing suddenly as she wiped her eyes of tears. "Wow, look at us. Every time we get together we end up crying."

Rory echoed her laugh and sat down, leaning against the bed. "Yeah and I was in such a good mood when I got here," she mused, thinking back to her day with Finn.

Brooke watched the smiled creep onto Rory's face and she placed a hand on her shoulder. "Did something happen with Finn today?" she asked innocently.

Rory's mind instantly triggered the movie again, replaying their kiss in the snow. "Something may have," she answered cryptically.

Brooke smiled almost sadly. "You know you're going to have to tell him?" she asked, moving so she was behind Rory and started to comb through her hair with her fingers.

Rory leaned her head back so it was resting against Brooke's leg and she closed her eyes. "I know," she responded dejectedly. "I know he deserves to know, they all do. But I don't want to tell them," she confessed. "I don't want him to see me that way, because I know he'll look at me differently when he knows."

"He may," Brooke said quietly, her voice soothing. "But I know Finn and I know that he would want to know the truth. And before he gets in to deep."

Rory nodded her head mutely, thinking over how she was going to tell him. It scared her to think about what would happen if he turned his back on her because of it. It scared her to know that it would break her heart if he hated her when he found out. She didn't want to see disgust in his eyes, not when all day he'd been looking at her like she was the only girl in the world.

_---  
'Cause you're working  
building a mystery  
holding on and holding it in  
yeah you're working  
building a mystery  
and choosing so carefully  
---_

_Okay so here comes the time for me to apologize profusely about my complete lack of updates! I'm so very sorry about that! Especially because I don't have an excuse…except major, major writers block! But I finally got this written and I hope you all like it! I love feedback; in fact I thrive on it so please review!_

_Thanks to everyone whose been reading this and reviewing, I love you guys so much. Thanks especially to one reviewer, unknownfuture04, without your review I probably would have forgotten about her illness. Thanks so much! And I promise it will come back, in the next chapter maybe. _

_Hugs and Kisses,  
-Ella_


	7. Fallen

_Author's Note: Okay for the purpose of this story I'm going to make it so that the dorm room that Rory and Brooke now share has a small kitchen. Also, I'm writing Rorys' sickness the way my Aunt had it but for the specific stuff I'm kind of winging it, so don't shoot if it isn't right!_

_**Full of Grace**_  
Fallen

_---  
Heaven bent to take my hand  
And lead me through the fire  
Be the long awaited answer  
To a long and painful fight  
---_

It was half past seven when Rory dragged herself out into the kitchen, her weary bones screaming out in protest. She went straight to the sink, quickly turning on the faucet and rinsing out her empty glass. With a soft groan, she tightly wrapped her fingers around the edge of a moist towel and brought it with her as she sank down to the floor. Rory set the glass down beside her as she brought her knees to her chest and pulled the front of the two sizes too big sweater that Brooke had given her the night before over her legs, trying to keep herself warm as chills swept through her body. She pressed the cloth to her forehead letting out a sigh of relief as the cool wetness of the cloth met her flushed skin.

She had been like this for hours. Her head throbbing, her breath coming in short gasps, her heart pounding so hard in her chest it was the only thing she could hear. But it wasn't anything knew to her, not really. She'd been like this for days, maybe even weeks. Some days she felt fine, maybe a slight chest pain or a headache but it was the others days she hated. Like that morning when she'd woken up in a blind panic while her lungs constricted painfully from lack of breath. She'd shot out of bed, grabbing onto the wall as her chest felt like it was being compressed with the weight of a full grown man.

Rory gathered all the strength she had in her exhausted body and moved over to the couch in the living room. She let herself sink down into the cosy pillows her eyes fluttering closed as sleep clouded her mind.

---

With blue eyes glassy from just waking up and her hair in disarray, Brooke shuffled out of her room. The January morning had frost covering the window panes and chills sweeping through the air. Brooke cuddled herself further into her fleece robe and padded across the living room, her chicken slippers flopping on her feet.

Brooke was just about to start a pot of coffee when her face scrunched up in a frown and she turned around, walking back over to the couch. Lying, curled up in a tight ball, was Rory and she was clutching a dish cloth in her hand. With a raised brow Brooke made her way over to Rory and knelt down beside the couch. The slight amusement she found in the situation disappeared when she noticed the ghostly pale colour of Rory's skin. With more worry then she thought possible Brookes' hands quickly shot out, one flat against her forehead and the other going to her chest. Rory's heartbeat was rapid under her hand and her skin hot and clammy.

"Oh God!" Brooke whispered as she rushed back into her room and grabbed her comforter off her bed.

On a whim she picked up her cell phone off of her dresser. Brooke layered the blanket over Rory's form, watching her sister bury herself deeper into the couch. Quickly, Brooke dialled the number of her mothers' cell phone, waiting impatiently for Lorelai to pick up.

"You're an evil child!" Lorelai's voice carried over the phone. "Why do you hate mommy so much as to wake her up at 9:30 in the morning?"

"I don't know what to do," Brooke told her mom, her voice dropping a few octaves as she stared at Rory with concern.

"Well first you're going to have to start by giving me more then that," Lorelai told her daughter, not recognizing the desperate tone in which she was talking.

Brooke felt her heart start to beat faster as she worked herself into a frenzy. "I shouldn't have called you…I mean I'm in college now and I'm supposed to be independent. But I don't know what to do…she's just so…pale..."

On the other end of the line Lorelai opened her eyes that she'd let drift closed and she gripped the phone harder. "Who's pale, Brooke?" she asked, her motherly instincts immediately kicking in as she thought worst case scenarios.

"It's Rory," she told her simply, her voice no more than a whisper. With the timid innocence of a small girl Brooke reached her hand out, letting only the tips of her fingers brush across Rory's cheek, not wanting to wake her from her sleep. "I…she's…sick, or something."

Lorelai pushed herself out of her bed and flung her robe on, while she made her way downstairs. She could tell from the whimper in her daughters' voice that whatever was wrong it was serious.

"Sick how Brooke?" Lorelai asked, turning the coffee maker on as she felt her own concern start to flood her veins. Rory was an amazing kid. She'd been given a hard life and made a lot of bad choices along the way, but she just kept getting stronger throughout everything. Lorelai couldn't help but think about her like she was a younger version of herself, like she was her second daughter.

Brooke sighed and drew her hand back, running it through her hair as she tried to calm herself down. "Umm…her head's burning…she's sweating but…I'm pretty sure she's freezing."

Lorelai sat herself down at the kitchen table, staring into her mug. "Sounds like she's got a fever, hon," she explained. "Is she sleeping?"

"Yeah…but," Brooke paused, watching as Rory jerked in her sleep, her forehead wrinkling with a frown.

"But what?" Lorelai asked, her voice gaining that worried tone only mothers have. "Brooke?"

"Sorry. She's on the couch, but she slept in Paris' old room last night, I know she did," Brooke told her pointedly.

"Okay, honey, it's okay," Lorelai tried to soothe her daughter over the phone. She quickly brainstormed a list of options in her mind, trying to find the best one. "Listen Brooke, you're going to have to take her temperature."

Brooke nodded even though she knew Lorelai couldn't see her. She stood up and walked over to the bathroom, riffling though the medicine cabinet as she searched for a thermometer.

"We don't have one!"

"How can you not have a thermometer?" Lorelai asked her tone scolding and a frown gracing her face.

"I don't know! But we don't!" Brooke told her. She went to close the cabinet door but it knocked out a small box that crashed into the sink, spilling band-aids, creams and tape everywhere. Brooke groaned but laid the phone down on the counter as she cleaned the mess up. She was about to stuff it all back into the first aid box when a small, plastic bag caught her attention.

"Ooh!" she exclaimed and held it up in triumph. "I found one!" she cried while grabbing the phone and rushing out into living room.

Lorelai, who had walked out of the kitchen while Rory was talking, looked down at the blinking red light on the answering machine. In no hurry at all she pushed the button and listened to the one message. But by the time it was over she was quickly rushing up the stairs and into her bedroom. Lorelai threw together an outfit in the smallest time possible and then grabbed the phone, which she'd tossed onto the bed when she got into her room.

"Brooke, honey, listen I've got to go!" she exclaimed, threading her fingers threw her hair and then running back down the stairs.

"What? Why?" Brooke asked, pulling back the thermometer from Rory's forehead. "What am I suppose to do?"

Lorelai grabbed a travel mug and poured in the now done coffee. "Somehow we're overbooked at the Inn and because I have the best luck in the whole world it's also the week when four of the kitchen staff are on holidays!" she explained sarcastically, squirming until her pumps slipped onto her feet. "Listen, babe, I'm sorry…just let her sleep okay. Talk to her when she wakes up," Lorelai instructed.

"Thanks, mom," Brooke answered before ending the call on her cell phone and placing it on the table. She returned her gaze to Rory and smiled sadly as she watched her shift uncomfortably on the couch. With a sigh she looked back down at the thermometer in her hand, the pink highlighted portion slowly fading into black.

Brooke didn't know much about health or medicine or anything like that, but she knew having a fever of a hundred and four was never good.

---

Rory finally woke up again around quarter to twelve. Her form all twisted up in Brookes' comforter, her face pressed into the back of the couch. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, feeling like she swallowed a whole handful of cotton balls. With a sigh she brought her hand up to her head, clutching at the crown of her skull and closing her eyes at the still present throbbing.

"Ugh…" she let out, gathering all her strength and pushing herself up into a sitting position. She let her gaze sweep over the room, surprise coming into her eyes when she saw Brooke lying with her head on the end of the couch, sleeping peacefully. "Brooke?"

Rory shuffled down the couch and lay down on her stomach so that her head was right next to Brookes'. Rory brought her other hand up to eye level, the dish cloth still gripped tightly in her fist. She slowly let it go, her hand damp and moist from either the cloth or sweat, she wasn't sure.

"You're up," Brooke stated, making Rory jump slightly.

Rory turned onto her side letting her eyes meet Brookes' and she smiled slightly. "You to," she answered, she could read the concern in Brookes' open blue gaze and she knew without a doubt what was coming.

Brooke pushed herself up onto her knees and then grabbing hold of the side of the couch she stood upright. With a sigh of discomfort, Brooke brought her hand up to the side of her neck, feeling the tension settling into muscles.

"You feeling okay?" she asked Rory over her shoulder, finally making the coffee she'd planned on that morning.

Rory shook her head slightly and sat up on the couch, pulling her legs underneath her and bringing the comforter up to her shoulders.

"I'm fine," she lied even though she knew Brooke wouldn't believe her.

"That's funny," Brooke commented and turned back around, walking over to the back of the couch. "When I'm fine I don't have a fever of a hundred and four."

Rory averted her gaze from Brookes' searching eyes, knowing she wouldn't be able to hide anything from her right now.

"Listen, Brooke, I know you're just worried about me but I'm fine." She tried to sound convincing but even to her own ears her voice was weak and hoarse.

Brooke sighed and walked around the couch, sitting down next Rory. She brought her hand up to Rory's forehead, her skin still flushed and hot.

"Rory, you're not fine, okay? You're sick," she explained, resting her other hand on top of Rory's, soothingly running the pad of her thumb across Rory's knuckles.

"It's no big deal Brooke," Rory promised her even as she remembered when she'd woken up that morning not being able to get any breath into her lungs. "It'll go away, it always does," she muttered under her breath but Brooke heard her and narrowed her eyes in confusion.

"What do you mean, 'it always does'?" she asked, her voice rising slightly.

Rory closed her eyes and let herself fall back against the couch, her chest aching. She could feel the sting of tears against the back of her eyes; every time she breathed she could feel the prickling sensation in her lungs like hundreds of pins poking her at the same time.

"It's just…this isn't the first time I've been I've been like this," she told her quietly, resting her free hand over top of ribcage, trying to relieve some of the pressure. "But don't worry," she added when she let Brookes' worried gaze, "it'll pass."

"What's wrong?" Brooke asked Rory with all the innocence of a little kid facing the world alone.

"It's nothing," Rory said, stressing the last word as she pushed herself up onto her feet, ignoring the head rush she gave herself.

"Stop saying that!" Brooke suddenly exploded; standing up from the couch to and watching Rory whirl around in shock. "Stop patronizing me! I know something's wrong Rory!" she exclaimed and felt herself deflate in front of Rory. "Just tell me," she pleaded.

Rory stood stock still for a moment before she felt her feet taking a couple of steps closer to Brooke on their own accord. She looked down at their feet for a second, her lips twitching into a smile at Brookes' slippers but that quickly faded. She brought her eyes back to Brookes' and felt a single tear slip down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," she whispered ever so softly, apologizing for what she didn't know but Brooke seemed to understand as she soon felt her arms come around her. "I'm sorry," she said again, this time burying her head in Brookes' shoulder.

"Just tell me what's wrong," Brooke asked in a voice no louder then a whisper.

Rory pulled back from Brooke and shyly pushed her hair behind her ears. She slowly made eye contact but then turned around, stepping up onto the couch and sitting down with her legs crossed. Rory patted the spot next to her and watched out of the corner of her eye as Brookes' lips turned upwards into a smile and she made herself comfortable on the couch to.

"I got sick a little while ago," Rory started staring straight ahead of her as she spoke. "Nothing serious, just a cold," she said as she reached down and pulled up the blanket that had fallen onto the floor. "I didn't have anything to get rid of it with, no medicine or anything, so it lasted a while longer but then it went away."

Brooke shifted herself closer to Rory, smiling gratefully as Rory shared the comforter with her. She couldn't help but think of how small Rory looked at that moment, how young. The huge blue comforter almost dwarfing her size, along with the gigantic Yale sweatshirt that hid her hands from view. It almost scared Brooke how innocent Rory could be sometimes.

"But lately…" Rory trailed off, waiting silently until Brooke seemed to come out of whatever thought she was lost in. Rory was somewhat grateful for the slight pause, as she was able to gather her thoughts and feelings, trying to make more sense of what she wanted to say. "Lately, I don't know if it's coming back or if I'm getting another cold…"

"But you've been getting fevers?" Brooke asked, gesturing at the thermometer lying innocently on the coffee table in front of them.

Rory nodded, her hair falling in front of her face like a shield almost, hiding her from Brooke's inquisitive gaze. But she knew that she couldn't hide from this conversation, at least not anymore and so she brought her hand up and pushed her hair back, turning her head to see Brooke again.

"It's not just fevers though," she admitted, watching curiosity and worry flare up in her half-sister at the same time. "Sometimes I just can't get any breath into me at all…or my chest will feel pressured."

"Rory, why didn't you tell me?" Brooke asked, connecting together all the dots in her head and hearing faint alarm bells going off.

"Because it's nothing serious, Brooke," Rory told her, seeming to suddenly close off and put up her defensive shield. "It's just another cold I got because I haven't been taking care of myself like I should have been. It'll go away."

Brooke leaned forward slightly, seeing the determined glint in Rorys' eyes and she resolved herself to a slight nod of her head, knowing there was no way she could get through to Rory all by herself.

She would need backup.

---

Finn waited outside Rory's door with childlike eagerness. The feeling swept through his body, this kind of adrenaline that reached from his toes to his fingers. He could only describe it as when he was a little kid, laying in his warm bed on Christmas morning and waiting until he could go downstairs.

He couldn't understand how this one girl had become so important to him and so amazing in his eyes. Normally around girls he would just spend extravagant amounts of money on them, spoiling them thoroughly. But with Rory he knew that wouldn't work and for some reason unbeknownst to him he didn't want her like that.

Finn was torn out of his thoughts when the door flew open and the girl he'd been thinking of ever since the night before was standing in front of him. The wide smile that had adorned his face all morning and the previous evening faltered slightly in her presence. Not that she wasn't beautiful. In fact she looked like a princess in her purple mesh skirt with lace accents and white and gold t-shirt. But it was the pallid colour of her skin and the missing twinkle in her eyes that jumped out at him.

"Hey," Rory greeted him, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She shifted from one foot to the other, digging her bare toes into the carpet as she felt his eyes sweep over her figure once before settling on her face.

"Hello, love," he answered, tilting his head to the side, trying to meet her eyes again but it was almost as if Rory knew he would be able to read exactly what she was feeling and so she averted her gaze.

"So what did you want to do?" Rory asked, tightening her grip on the door as she felt her head suddenly become almost as light as a balloon.

Finn raised an eyebrow as he saw her arm tense all the way up to her shoulder and her eyes clench shut for a brief second. He couldn't help the worry and concern that started to slowly flood his body.

"Why don't we just stay in?" he asked, trying to sound casual and not missing the small smile of relief that flitted across Rory's face.

"Okay, good," Rory exclaimed and went to turn around and lead him into the room even as her mind screamed at her that it wasn't a good idea.

Seems her mind was right and just as she saw the world start to fall away from her Rory felt two strong arms curl around her waist, holding her up against a hard chest. Rory closed her eyes tightly, letting her body relax into Finn's and welcoming the somewhat familiar embrace.

Finn tightened his arms around her small frame for a minute before he moved one and bent down, curling it under her knees and picking her up in one flourish motion. Finn walked into the room, closing the door with his foot, and then carried her over to the bedroom on the far left, knowing that it had been Paris' before. He was just about to lay her down on the bed when he felt her small arms wrap themselves around his neck, her nimble fingers slipping into his mess of brown hair.

"Rory, sweetheart, I gotta put you down now," Finn whispered into her ear, feeling her body shudder against his.

Rory nodded and untangled her hands from his hair, letting him lower her into her bed. Rory watched as he lifted her feet up and pulled the blanket out from under them before laying it on top of her, tucking her in like you would a little kid. She narrowed her eyes on him, wondering how it was possible that he could be so sweet. It confused her more then she thought possible at how she responded to him. Her whole life she'd prided herself on how strong she was, how independent. And yet here she was, all weak and kitteny around him because she was sick. But even as she thought about it she still wanted him to take care of her, wanted him to make her feel better, make her feel special like he had the day before. He made her feel like a princess…and she certainly wasn't used to liking that.

_---  
Though I've tried, I've fallen  
I have sunk so low  
I've messed up better,  
I should know  
__--- _


	8. Hold On

_Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or the rights to the song 'Hold On' by Sarah McLachlan. _

**Full of Grace**  
_Hold On_

_---  
So now you're sleeping peaceful  
I lie awake and pray  
that you'll be strong tomorrow and we'll  
see another day and we will praise it  
and love the light that brings a smile  
across your face  
---_

"Is she getting any better?"

Finn sighed and shook his head, running a hand through his wild hair and looked over at Stephanie who was leaning in the doorway.

"I don't know," he admitted and watched as she came closer, sitting down at the edge of the bed.

"You know Finn," she started, letting her hazel eyes run over his rumpled clothes and tired eyes, "maybe you should get come sleep. We're all here, we'll look after her."

"I can't," he told her, his voice going firm and a determined glint coming into his eyes. "I told her I would be here when she wakes up."

Stephanie smiled, "Okay," she whispered and then motioned at the door and Finn nodded.

Stephanie quietly got off the bed and walked back to the door, pausing for a minute to look over at Finn and Rory before walking out. She closed the door behind her and then turned around to find three pairs of concerned eyes fixated on her.

"She's not awake yet," she told them as she took a seat next to Colin on the arm of the couch he was sitting on.

"Maybe we should take her to the hospital?" Logan asked, unconsciously running his hand through Brooke's hair, his arm's holding her tiny frame close to him.

"Rory hates hospitals," Brooke told him as she pulled away slightly, her voice raw and her eyes bloodshot.

"Ace, from what you've told us she needs to see a doctor," he told her gently and from the corner of his eye he could see Colin and Stephanie nod their agreement.

"But…" Brooke trailed off and broke their gaze to look over at Rory's closed door. "Her fever went down," she whispered, almost defeated as her worry kept growing every minute Rory stayed asleep.

"She could be really sick though," Stephanie said and walked over to where Brooke was on the couch. She kneeled down in front of her and laid a hand on her leg, rubbing it in a comforting motion. "We don't even know what's wrong."

"Rory hates hospitals," Brooke repeated, her voice growing stronger. "She would never go inside them, no matter what."

"Why?" Logan asked his eyes narrowed.

Brooke shrugged, "I don't know. She never told me…I was in the hospital once. I got my arm fractured in a car accident," she told them, her eyes glassy as she seemed to be remembering that night. "My dad came down to see me in the hospital but he said that Rory wouldn't come in. I didn't see her until they released me."

"She's never been to one?" Stephanie asked standing up and sitting down next to Brooke. "Not even when she was a kid?"

"I'm not sure," Brooke said, "maybe when she was smaller, but– "

"Uhh guys," Colin interrupted her and they all snapped their attention towards him. He jerked his head to the left where Rory's door was opening and Finn walked out, his skin slightly pale and his brown eyes weary.

"Is Rory okay?" Brooke instantly asked, jumping up from the couch with an almost panicked look on her face.

"She woke up," he stated, his voice sounding almost mechanical.

"She's awake?" Brooke asked, tears finally leaking out of her eyes. She slowly let a small smile spread onto her lips but when Finn's look didn't change she felt her heart stop. "What's wrong?"

"She asked me to take her to the hospital," he told them and everyone's eyes widened in disbelief.

Brooke felt her knees almost give out from beneath her and she sat back down on the couch, shaking her head. She brought her hands up and buried her face in the palms, sliding them across her skin and then into her hair, pushing it back.

"She wants to go to the hospital," she repeated in a monotone voice but the look of fear in her eyes spoke volumes.

- - -

It was quarter past eleven when the group of six rushed into the hospital, Colin and Finn each with an arm around Rory, keeping her up. It was late and fortunately there weren't that many people waiting and a nurse instantly came over to them.

"What happened?" she asked, looking over all of their worried faces and then focussing on Rory.

"We don't know what's wrong," Brooke started and gestured her hands at Rory. "She had a really high fever and she's having trouble breathing."

The nurse nodded and quickly walked over, grabbing a gurney that was pushed against the wall. She rolled it over and motioned for them to pick Rory up and lay her down on top of it.

"She's really weak," Colin explained as he stepped away but Finn stayed by her side, her hand still clasped in his.

"It's gonna be okay," the nurse assured them and turned to Rory and quickly checked her pulse. "Honey, can you hear me?" she asked and when Rory nodded she moved back to the front desk and grabbed a clipboard and started writing something down. "What's your name?"

"Rory," she managed to answer her and groaned slightly.

"Her last names Hayden," Brooke finished and the nurse smile thankfully. "She's my half-sister," she explained, glancing at Rory again, hating to see her so weak and sick.

An older man suddenly walked up to them. He was dressed in a white coat with a silver stethoscope hanging around his neck and plastic gloves on his hands. He let his eyes briefly run over the group before turning to Rory on the gurney.

"What do we have?" he asked the nurse.

"They said she's having trouble breathing," the nurse explained, continuously jotting things down on her clipboard.

The doctor nodded and moved to the other side of the gurney. He dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a flashlight. He quickly checked her eyes for a response and sighed, pocketing the flashlight again.

"Her pupils are unequal," he stated and the nurse nodded, her pencil moving even more furiously. "She responded to the light though, so that's a good sign."

"What's wrong with her?" Brooke asked, her voice panicking slightly.

The doctor looked up, his eyes turning sympathetic and he smiled kindly before turning to the nurse. "Put her in a room and run some tests. Take her blood and do a chest x-ray," he ordered and the nurse nodded.

"You're gonna have to let go now," the nurse told Finn, who hadn't moved from her side since they'd brought her in.

"Can't someone go with her?" he asked as he backed away and they all looked hopefully at the nurse.

"Not right now," she told them. "When we've completed the tests the doctor will come find you," she promised and then smiled before wheeling the gurney down the hall and through a pair of double doors.

The five of them stood still, each staring off at where the nurse had disappeared to.

_---  
Hold on  
Hold on to yourself  
You know that only time will tell  
---_

_Sorry for the shortness of this chapter but I thought I should at least get something out. The nest one will be longer and hopefully up soon because I don't have school this week so I'll have free time. _

_Thanks for the reviews, you guys are awesome!_

_Hugs and Kisses,  
-Ella_


	9. Arms of an Angel

_Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or the rights to the song 'Arms of an Angel' by Sarah McLachlan. _

**Full of Grace**  
_Arms of an Angel_

_Chapter Eight:_

"_Her last names Hayden," Brooke finished and the nurse smile thankfully. "She's my half-sister," she explained, glancing at Rory again, hating to see her so weak and sick._

_An older man suddenly walked up to them. He was dressed in a white coat with a silver stethoscope hanging around his neck and plastic gloves on his hands. He let his eyes briefly run over the group before turning to Rory on the gurney. _

"_What do we have?" he asked the nurse. _

"_They said she's having trouble breathing," the nurse explained, continuously jotting things down on her clipboard. _

_The doctor nodded and moved to the other side of the gurney. He dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a flashlight. He quickly checked her eyes for a response and sighed, pocketing the flashlight again. _

"_Her pupils are unequal," he stated and the nurse nodded, her pencil moving even more furiously. "She responded to the light though, so that's a good sign."_

"_What's wrong with her?" Brooke asked, her voice panicking slightly. _

_The doctor looked up, his eyes turning sympathetic and he smiled kindly before turning to the nurse. "Put her in a room and run some tests. Take her blood and do a chest x-ray," he ordered and the nurse nodded. _

"_You're gonna have to let go now," the nurse told Finn, who hadn't moved from her side since they'd brought her in. _

"_Can't someone go with her?" he asked as he backed away and they all looked hopefully at the nurse. _

"_Not right now," she told them. "When we've completed the tests the doctor will come find you," she promised and then smiled before wheeling the gurney down the hall and through a pair of double doors. _

_The five of them stood still, each staring off at where the nurse had disappeared to. _

_Chapter Nine:_

_---  
The storm keeps on twisting; you keep on building the lies  
That you make up for all that you lack  
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time  
It's easier to believe  
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness  
That brings me to my knees  
---_

The four of them couldn't tell you how long they stood in the lobby of the hospital, paying no attention to the nurses walking around them or the insistent beeping noises that echoed from the rooms.

Stephanie seemed to break away first and she turned to see Brooke and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. She watched for a minute, waiting for Brooke to respond to her touch.

"Maybe we should call her parents?" she asked, her voice questioning as she wasn't exactly sure how to handle this kind of situation.

Brooke frowned, "Yeah…I guess," she replied, sighing out and running a shaking hand through her hair. She let her hand slip down to her forehead before covering her eyes with it for a moment, trying to regain some control, knowing that Rory would need her to be strong right now. "I don't know, Rory's not on real good terms with either of them," she explained.

"They would probably want to know," Steph answered and Brooke nodded, walking over to the row of chairs in the waiting room.

She sat down, letting the rough plastic of the chairs dig into her back as she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, glad she'd remembered to bring it before they'd left. She slowly dialled her father's number, hesitating slightly before pushing the last number.

"Hello?" Christopher's voice rang out and Brooke swallowed before answering.

"Hey dad," she said, truing to keep her voice normal and not betray the worry she was feeling.

"Brooke?" Chris sounded confused for a minute. "Hey kiddo, kind of late to be calling, isn't it? Not that I'm complaining for course."

Brooke frowned. "Dad, something happened," she told him and heard him suck in a breath.

"What do you mean something happened?" he repeated, a panicked edge slipping into his voice. "Are you okay?"

"It's not me, it's Rory," she explained and smiled gratefully when Logan grabbed her hand, entwining their fingers together, letting her draw the strength she needed from him.

"Where is she? Is she okay?" he asked and Brooke could hear him moving around in his apartment.

"We don't know, the doctors are running some tests…"

"Tests?" he called out alarmed. "Where are you?"

"We're at the hospital," she said and after hearing her dad mumbling a few almost incoherent words she frowned. "Dad?"

"I'm coming right now honey, don't worry," he told her distractedly and Brooke actually heard a car door slam before an engine came to life.

"Dad you don't have to come right now," she told him, heaving a sigh.

"Yes I do," he said solemnly and Brooke felt a tiny smile spread on her face.

"Thanks," she said and hung up after a moment. "Our dad's on his way," she told the group, forgetting about even contacting Rory's mother.

- - -

It almost felt like waking up from a dream.

But she knew better.

Her head felt twice its size, her chest was heavy and her arm stung with every movement.

And yet she felt oddly comforted.

Rory slowly opened her eyes, cringing against the bright lights in the room and tried to swallow but her mouth felt dry and her throat raw.

With almost impossible effort she pushed herself up onto one arm. First her attention went to her other arm, alabaster skin marred by the IV sticking into her. Rory closed her eyes at the sight, feeling her stomach churn.

She waited until the feeling passed before opening her eyes again, this time used to the sterile whiteness of the small room.

Rory couldn't stop her corners of her mouth from turning up when she saw her hand completely encompassed in a much larger, darker one. She felt a sense of calm come over her at the sight of Finn by her side. His head was down, lying on the mattress and she could tell he was sleeping. She couldn't understand it but just the fact that he was there, that he hadn't left her alone made a giddy feeling erupt inside her.

She knew now that he would never let anything happen to her.

Rory tightened her grip on his hand, watching as her thumbs stroked his skin and feeling warmth flood through her. She watched as his face twitched slightly, his lips smacking together and his eyes fluttering open.

"Rory!" he exclaimed and jumped up, an action that would have amused her had he not been holding onto her arm that had the IV in it. She cringed as his action lifted her arm into the air, tugging on the needle nestled painfully in her skin.

"Sorry love," he apologized and sat back down, moving his chair closer to her. "How you feeling?" he asked, letting his free hand cup her cheek, his thumb brushing her skin.

Rory smiled, "A little better," she told him truthfully and then felt her chest tense as she started to cough again, although she was sure this was more from the strain talking was causing than anything else. "Could use some water though," she told him, smiling sweetly.

Finn nodded and reluctantly released the grip he had on her and moved over to the table that was leaning against the wall beside her bed. He picked up the pitcher of water and poured some into a paper cup before bringing it over to her. He watched, concerned, as she gently sipped at the water.

"I should probably fetch a doctor," he said and watched as her eyes widened and her grip on the paper increased until he saw it buckling under the pressure. "…or not?"

Rory sighed and closed her eyes, trying to get passed this inherent fear she'd always had of hospitals and doctors. She knew she must have looked so weak in everyone's eyes, like she was acting like a child. She'd known she was sick, straight from the beginning but she'd refused to tell anyone. She'd rather ride it out, wait for the last minute and go through all that pain before asking for help.

It wasn't that she didn't want to get better, because she did.

She had people in her past that had thought she was some kind of masochist, that she enjoyed putting herself through pain. But they couldn't be more wrong about her. She hated not being able to get herself the help that hospitals could provide her with. She'd only ever needed to go to one a couple of times when she'd been living on her own.

Every time was different. Although each time was serious enough to need the care of a professional. But it hadn't just been her fear of hospitals holding her back; it had also been what she did. She hated letting people know what she worked as, hated the prospect of having to tell a complete stranger how she became so broken.

But this time had been different. This time she didn't have that hanging over her head, this time she was free of her past. The only thing in her way had been her fears and she was finally aware of just how powerful they really were.

But she found something just as controlling. Something that had finally made her give up and surrender to what was best for herself, no matter how much it scared her.

And that one thing was sitting right beside her bed, his deep brown eyes looking over her with so much concern and affection. He'd been her breaking point, her reason to give in. She'd let herself fall back, trusting for once in her life that someone would be there to catch her.

And he had.

- - -

Finn kept his eyes on her, watching as she seemed to be caught in some sort of trance, lost in a sea of thoughts. He wanted nothing more than to reach out to her but he guessed she needed to work something out in her mind.

He could tell whatever it was she was so caught up in, it was important. He could see the raging sea of emotions in her eyes, each one empowering the other, stronger and more intense. Until her eyes snapped to meet his and their gazes locked.

He'd never felt something so powerful than he did in that moment. This one girl, so small as she lay before him, her eyes so full of passion and gratitude. She'd managed to turn his world upside down in a week, to pull him every direction and have him come out a completely different person. And he could feel it inside his veins, his heart swelling with the feelings he felt towards her, his palms sweating as he realized how deep they actually were.

He was in too deep already and he was sure things had just started.

- - -

"Finn?" Rory questioned, breaking her eyes from his, trying to calm her breathing down from his intense gaze.

"Yeah kitten," he whispered, letting a smile glide onto his lips and he watched as her eyes shifted nervously.

"You're probably wondering why I didn't want to be here," she stated, bringing her hands down to grip the flimsy sheet draped over her legs and pulled it up to her shoulders.

"You don't have to tell me, love," he reassured her although his curiosity was strong.

Rory smiled bravely, "I want to." She narrowed her eyes a little, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she tried to think of a place to start. "I've hated hospitals for a while now…it started when I was 15. Although even before that I didn't like them, but that was just like every other kid.

"It was the year I moved in with my mom," she told him, her blue eyes clouding with memories. "I had never really been that close with her, we'd never connected or anything. But I hadn't thought she was so…horrible.

"She's the reason I hate being in a hospital. She told me one day, after we'd gotten into this big fight…She told me she should have left me at the hospital after she had me…" Rory choked out, her voice becoming hoarse with emotion and Finn's eyes widened at her words.

"I tried to ignore her words, tried to forget about them. But I couldn't. It wasn't even the only time she told me something like that…For weeks, every time I would do something she didn't like or say something rude…she'd snap at me.

"Everything else she said to me didn't matter; it never hurt me. But those words coming out of her mouth, I couldn't stop hearing them. Even after I'd left the room they would echo in my head. She would tell me so many different ways…She wished she would have had the sense to abort me or left me somewhere…whished she'd told the doctor to keep her baby instead of giving it to her…"

By the time she'd gotten those last words out tears were falling down her cheeks in rivulets. Their chilliness a welcome comfort against the burning heat of her cheeks. She'd never told anyone about what her mother had said to her, not even Brooke. She'd known she wouldn't be able to stop her emotions from getting the best of her if she let it all out in the open.

She felt empty. Alone… Her skin felt like it was prickling with heat, like her whole body was flushed but it was only physical. She felt cold emotionally, her heart beating an erratic pace that echoed in her ears until it was the only thing she could hear and she felt like she was going to break down even more…

But then warmth invaded her system.

She opened her eyes, not even recalling when she'd closed them, and to her surprise she saw him sitting beside her. His arm was around her shoulders, pulling her body into his, letting her fall against him.

Rory breathed out in relief as she felt herself calming down, letting herself relax against his strong body. He pulled her closer to himself, her body fitting perfectly into his as her head rested against his chest. He placed a comforting kiss on the top of head, smoothing her hair back and whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

Rory had almost managed to calm down when their peaceful moment had been brought to its knees with the force of the hospital door slamming into the wall as it shook on its hinges. Rory had jerked away from Finn, her eyes snapping towards the door and she watched in horror as the intimidating figure of a woman walked stiffly into the room.

"Well," the woman drawled, clicking her tongue against her teeth, "if it isn't my whore of a daughter," she greeted them and placed both her hands on her hips. "Aren't you supposed to be on some street corner or something, selling yourself?"

Rory felt her heart buckle slightly under the fierce anger those words were spoken with. She was about to respond when she felt Finn's arm slowly uncurl from around her waist and her eyes were brought back to his.

And it was the look in his eyes that broke her…

The confusion swirling around inside of them…the hurt…

_---  
Memory seeps from my veins  
Let me be empty  
There's always one reason  
To feel not good enough  
--- _

_AN: Okay so I'm sure I made a lot of enemies from taking so long to update this story or any of my stories. I'm not even sure if anyone's still reading this one or even remembers it but…Things have been really hard lately just some personal problems that got in the way of my writing. Let's just say they took my muse and held his hostage for a little while…but I've got him back now and I've finally figured out how I'll be ending this story which should be in a couple chapters. _

_Anyway I hope you guys like Rory's mom…Actually I bet no one likes her which is what I was going for. She's going to be really mean and just in case anyone's hoping for some big family reunion at the end…it's not going to happen._

_I want to thank everyone for being so supportive and reviewing all my other chapters. I know you wanted to find out what's wrong with her and I was going to put it in this chapter but it kind of got away from me so it will be in the next one. Oh and sorry about the cliff-hanger but it was just so tempting!_

_Hugs and Kisses,  
-Ella_


	10. I Will Remember You

_Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or the rights to the song 'I Will Remember You' by Sarah McLachlan. _

_**Important authors note at the end!**_

**Full of Grace**  
_I Will Remember You_

_Chapter Nine:_

_Rory had almost managed to calm down when their peaceful moment had been brought to its knees with the force of the hospital door slamming into the wall as it shook on its hinges. Rory had jerked away from Finn, her eyes snapping towards the door and watched in horror as the intimidating figure of a woman walked stiffly into the room. _

"_Well," the woman drawled, clicking the tongue against her teeth, "if it isn't my whore of a daughter," she greeted them and placed both her hands on her hips. "Aren't you supposed to be on some street corner or something, selling yourself?"_

_Rory felt her heart buckle slightly under the fierce anger those words were spoken with. She was about to respond when she felt Finn's arm slowly uncurl from around her waist and her eyes were brought back to his. _

_And it was the look in his eyes that broke her…_

_The confusion swirling around inside of them…the hurt…_

_**Chapter Ten:**_

_---  
I'm so tired but I can't sleep  
Standing on the edge of something much too deep  
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word  
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard  
---_

"Rory?" Finn questioned pulling away from her, his eyes narrowed in confusion.

Rory felt her bottom lip tremble, her eyes stinging with tears. This wasn't how he was supposed to find out. She was going to tell him herself, was going to make sure he understood. He wasn't supposed to find out this way.

"You never told anyone?" her mother, Reese Whitman, asked and Rory could hear the maliciousness in her voice but she didn't remove her gaze from Finn.

"Told me what?" Finn asked and Rory could see his whole body was tensed in waiting for what she would say.

"Finn…I…" Rory stammered, her breath was stuck in her throat and although she still felt like she was slowly dying, the pain in her heart was worse.

"You know, Rory, darling," Reese cut in again and walked over to the bed. She raised her hand and combed her fingers through Rory's hair, to which Rory jerked away. "You can't lie to people like this. You have to be honest and tell everyone what you do for a living…or who."

If Rory hadn't been watching Finn she swore she would have screamed bloody murder at her mother.

"Rory?" Finn asked and Rory could see the disbelief seeping into his deep brown eyes.

She tried to reach out towards him, her eyes pleading with him but he jumped away from her as if burned. "Finn!"

"I have to go," he muttered looking at her one last time and Rory felt her heart break at the utter hurt on his face.

She watched him walk towards the door and the entire room was silent until the heavy oak clicked into its frame. Rory didn't move her gaze fixed on the last place she'd seen Finn, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What a nice boy," Reese said in a sweetly acidic voice.

Rory slowly turned to he mother, her blue eyes blazing. She could feel herself shaking and she wasn't sure if it was from her tears or her anger.

"How could you do that?" she asked her voice eerily calm.

"You weren't being truthful with the boy, Rory," her mother said and sat down on the edge of her hospital bed.

Rory frowned at her mothers complete 180 but didn't pay much attention to it, having lived with her for a couple years and being used to it.

"Please leave," Rory whispered suddenly feeling the affects of all the talking she'd been doing. Her throat felt like it was completely raw, her chest on fire and her lungs aching.

"I can see you're tired," Reese said and stood from the bed as Rory lay down. "I'll get a doctor to come in."

Rory turned her head away from the door, waiting until she heard the click before she finally buried her face in her hands.

Pain wracked her body. Regret for not telling Finn sooner ate away at her. Anger at herself and her mother sank deeper into her bones. She felt like she was breaking and was helpless to stop it.

- - -

"Well Rory, we preformed a couple x-rays of your lungs and…" the doctor tailed off as her arranged the x-rays so everyone could see. Rory had finally managed to control her tears and she'd let the doctor come in. Brooke had been hovering over her shoulder, worry in her eyes. Her father was by her other side and everyone else –sans Finn- was outside waiting in the hall.

"You've got a fairly serious case on pneumonia," the doctor said and Rory would have felt a slight relief had the doctors face changed from the grave expression he was wearing now. "Pneumonia by itself we can treat easily," he said and clasped his hands together. "But we've also found an infection in your right lung."

"What does that mean?" Chris asked.

"It means that Rory's lungs are weaker than a normal patient with pneumonia. The infection has also weakened her entire body because it's trying its hardest to cure itself."

"Doctor…"

"Rory's not strong enough to fight off both but we can only treat her for one of them."

"What will happen?" Brooke asked her voice shaking.

"Our biggest concern is that the infection will spread from your lungs to your throat. If that was to happen you wouldn't be able to east and so you would be forced onto intervenes. We might have to also help you breathe after because the infection could severely damage the function of your lung."

"Could you cure the infection first?" Chris asked.

"We could but there's a serious risk with that. The pneumonia is very dangerous and left untreated any longer it could become fatal."

Rory slowly lowered her head, her mind swimming with all the information she'd just been given. She heard the doctor excuse himself and leave the room.

"So…" Brooke said breaking the silence the room had been bathed in. She sat down on the bed beside Rory. "What do we do?"

Chris frowned. "We have to do the treatment for the pneumonia first; the risks if we leave it are too much."

Rory nodded, not meeting their eyes. She couldn't even think straight but her dad sounded sure and so it was enough for her.

"I guess," Brooke said and she grabbed Rory's hand in her own, squeezing and Rory finally turned towards her, smiling bravely.

- - -

"Oww…" Rory pouted, her eyes shut tight and her lips curled as the nurse inserted another IV into her arm.

"There you go sweetie, feel better now," the nurse said before she walked out of the room.

Rory opened her eyes and looked at her arm, feeling her stomach churn at the sight and she breathed out quietly, eyes closed for a second before she looked around at everyone in her room. Her father wasn't there but she'd asked him to go get rid of her mom…not having the strength to deal with her herself.

"How are you?" Brooke asked placing a hand on Rory's arm and squeezing in a comforting gesture.

"I'll be okay," she said, the first time she'd spoken to any of them in a while. They all just sat around and Rory could tell they were all itching to ask about Finn. The absence of the loud Australian was more than noticeable.

"He left," Rory finally stated her voice devoid of any emotion and her eyes averted.

"Why?" Brooke asked although she had a thought as to why.

"My mom, she told him," Rory told her and she heard Brooke gasp slightly and saw, out of the corner of her eye, Brooke raise a hand to cover her mouth.

"Rory…"

"I should have known it would happen," Rory said her tone becoming bitter as she thought about her mother. "Things were going to well; something horrible was bound to happen."

"Umm…excuse me but," Steph started and everyone looked at her, "what did your mom tell him?"

Rory sighed and waved her hand around. "Oh you know, she just pulled some skeleton out of my closet," she told them vaguely.

"You don't have to tell us," Steph assured her and Logan and Colin nodded their agreement.

"No, you should know, I should stop hiding it…" she said making them exchange glances. "When I lived in LA I…" she trailed off and dipped her head to avoid all their eyes. "I was a prostitute."

She didn't know what she expected them to do but what she got was complete silence. She didn't look up, not wanting to see their expressions, see the shock, the disappointment she was so used to seeing. No one ever looked at her the same after they found out.

"Wow…" Steph let out and shifted uncomfortably, looking from Rory to the others.

"She's not anymore," Brooke told them trying to think of something she could say to make everything okay.

Logan came to stand next to Brooke, his face still showing surprise but no disgust like the other people had looked at her with when she'd told them. He placed his arm loosely around Brooke's waist, smiling reassuringly.

"I guess that explains some things," Colin murmured and everyone's attention snapped towards him. "I mean…just some things make more sense now."

Stephanie frowned and smacked his chest. "Don't listen to him, he's chronically insensitive."

Rory managed a smile. "Actually that's one of the best reactions I've ever gotten," she told them to which Colin smiled triumphantly and Steph rolled her eyes.

"You guys really are taking this well," Brooke said, looking at them suspiciously.

"Ace, when you live in a world like ours, it's really hard to find something you can't accept."

"So you're okay with it?" Rory asked incredulous.

"We all have a past," Logan told her and the three of them once again exchanged looks, making Rory really believe that statement was true. "But I guess Finn didn't…"

"No, not so good," Rory said, biting her lower lip.

"He's probably just in shock," Colin supplied. "Or denial."

The five kids stood around in Rory's room, no one knowing what to say and a tension filled silence fell around them…if only for a moment.

"Oh!" Stephanie suddenly exclaimed.

"What?"

"I just remembered," she started and then started laughing slightly. "You said you worked in sales…"

Everyone just looked at the giggling blonde for a minute before they too dissolved into laughter.

And for once Rory thought she'd made real friends. And she liked that feeling, she liked it a lot.

- - -

It was almost two weeks later. Two weeks of good days separated by not-so-good ones.

They'd treated Rory for her pneumonia, a hard process that had her cringing through needles everyday. Rory had managed to maintain her ability to breathe on her own, shrinking away from even the idea of being hooked up to another machine.

The doctors said her body was slowly becoming stronger as the pneumonia dried up. Of course the only thing she'd been able to have was cold drinks and ice cream, although that really wasn't much of a bad thing.

She'd usually always had someone with her in her room. Everyone knew how much she hated hospitals and so they didn't want to leave her alone. Sure enough the only person she really wanted to see hadn't been by the whole time.

They told her he probably felt just like her, although not being in the hospital getting treated for pneumonia and a lung infection. Rory would frown at that, she hated that she put him through so much pain. She'd never wanted to hurt him; it was why she'd held back from telling him the truth about herself because she knew he would get hurt.

She'd always been one to always accept her feelings and with Finn it was exactly the same. She couldn't deny how she felt for him, it would be impossibly hard. Somewhere along the line, she had fallen for him and she couldn't help but think it was that first night he brought her out of the rain and into his room.

But today was her last day in the hospital, something she couldn't describe how happy she was about. They'd dried up all the pneumonia, saying she would make a full recovery from it. Her infection was still there, but it wasn't anywhere as serious as it had been.

Chris was down at the front desk signing her release papers. She wasn't sure where she stood with her dad at the moment. Rory was grateful for his presence by her side these past two weeks. He'd taken so much time off of work and away from his own life to be with her and she was sure if had create a stronger bond between them. She knew not everything had been made up for and there was still a long road ahead of them but she now knew, without a doubt, that if she ever needed him he would be there.

"Okay kiddo," Christopher exclaimed as he walked into her room. "You're out of here."

"Thank God," Rory muttered pushing herself to her feet, glad that for once the room didn't spin like it had been for a while.

"You all ready?" Chris asked taking one last look around the room, just to see if they'd forgotten anything.

Rory smiled. "I've been ready to leave since I got here," she told him dryly and pulled her coat over her shoulders.

"Okay then, lets go," he said and linked his arm through hers and they walked down the hall and towards the exit.

Rory stopped just outside the front doors, letting her gaze trail over the huge elm trees that lined the front of the hospital. There was snow sitting on the branches and snow crunching under the feet of the people who were walking by. Everything looked magical and Rory felt like she was seeing the outside for the first time.

"Thanks for coming daddy," she said, smiling up at him her blue eyes lighting up.

Chris smiled, "No problem kid," he said and they walked towards his car in a comfortable silence.

- - -

After Rory had been settled into Brookes dorm again and things had finally started to calm down she'd set out in determination. She hadn't seen hide or hair of Finn since that day in the hospital and she was starting to become desperate. She'd never missed someone this much before but her heart was practically aching for him.

Brooke had gone to class and so Rory shrugged on her coat, taking one of the pills she'd gotten from the doctor to treat the last of her infection. She walked through the campus, feeling the cold that still hung around them, which she expected since it was only February.

When she got to his dorm she stilled outside the door. She hadn't thought about what to do when she actually got there, she hadn't thought about what she would say or how she could convince him to let her explain.

But Rory knew there was no way she could just go home and let him slip away and so she gathered all the courage she had and knocked on his door. She was hoping that he would answer and not Colin or Logan because she didn't want to lose her nerve now that she had it.

It must have been at least five minutes later when she heard the lock on the door click and the door know turn. Rory felt her heart start to pound and her palms turn sweaty as she watched as the door was pulled open.

It was first time she'd seen him in almost three weeks and she almost didn't recognize him. His hair was a completely mess, his brown eyes were dull and had dark circles surrounding them. She felt her stomach lurch at the pain in his eyes and she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and cradle him against her.

She watched as he registered that it was her, his body tensing but concern filling his expression. He let his eyes trail over her, making sure she was okay or that she at least didn't appear hurt. When their eyes met again everything seemed to stop as they just stared at each other and both noticed the exhaustion in each other.

"Can I…?" Rory asked motioning behind him and Finn stood still for a minute before he walked into his dorm and left the door open for her.

Rory walked in behind him and quietly shut the door. She clasped her hands together, playing with them nervously as she tried to think of something she could start with.

"How are you?" Finn suddenly asked and Rory breathed out in relief.

"Better," she told him truthfully and unconsciously a hand came up to press against her chest, it still sore as a result from everything she'd been through.

"That's good," he said and ran a hand through his hair, not meeting her eyes and Rory bit her lip.

"Finn, I…"

"Don't," he interrupted her and held a hand up to gesture for her to stop.

Rory didn't listen to him though and moved closer to him, desperately wanting him to hear her. "Finn I have a past, a really bad one, but so does everyone else," she said, tying to think of anything that would get through to him.

"You could have told me, Rory!" he burst out and fixed her with a glare.

"I should have," she agreed. "I was going to, I just…I didn't want everything to be different. I didn't want you to look at be like this."

Finn looked her in the eye for a second before she saw his face soften and he walked towards her. "Rory, of course I'd look at you differently. It's so…dangerous, you could have been killed or hurt or something!"

"Don't you think I know that!" Rory exclaimed, throwing her arm open wide. "What do think I was just some naïve little girl who wanted to 'have a good time'? I didn't have a choice."

"Yes you did, maybe not much of a choice, but you didn't have to do that. You didn't have to leave your mom."

"You don't get it. Even though your family has issues you don't know what it was like. My mother only saw one thing when she looked at me. A mistake. If she had her way, I never would have been born. And so yeah, when I had the chance I left. And never, not for a minute, have I regretted that decision. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and I've learned from them but I live in that house for years and I was never at home."

"But to turn to…to lower yourself to that… You're so much better than that Rory, you deserve more. You deserve a noble man, or a prince or something."

Rory smiled a watery smile at his words. She combed her hand through her hair and swallowed before looking back up at him. "Coming here has done a lot for me Finn. I wanna say it's changed my life but it's more than that. Everything here –Brooke and you and everyone else- changed me. I used to look at the world a different way. When I was younger I was actually proud of it. I thought I was…tough, street smart, but I grew up quickly. I realized that I could only see the world in black and white. I never learned to look into the middle, or to try and find the grey area's in people and in life.

"But coming here taught me that not everything is black and white. Everyone here gave me the chance no one else was willing to do. For once I actually felt at home when I first got here."

Rory paused in her speech, she felt like she was heading towards this all powerful, pivotal moment in her life. The one moment she'd always been silently working towards and praying would happen. It was finally her choice, her decision to confront her fears and let someone in, all the way in.

Rory smiled bravely and walked over to him, looking into his eyes. "You helped me so much Finn. You let me lean on you; you gave the chance to let myself breathe. I've never been relaxed around someone so much but everything with you just seems so natural, so easy. I swear I was going to tell you about everything. I guess I just wanted to live in the now, I want nothing more than to forget about my past. I'm not proud of it, I hate myself for the fact that I actually did it but I got out. I left LA and I came here to start over and I want nothing more than to do it with you by my side."

She took a deep breath and watched as he reacted to her words. She couldn't believe she'd really done it, she'd let him step into the one area of her world that she'd kept out of everyone's reach.

She waited on baited breath, standing before him with her heart on her sleeve, just hoping he would catch her once again. She stared up at him, watching the conflicting emotions in his eyes as he watched her.

And then he shook his head and Rory felt her heart crack at the sign.

She could barely see through the tears in her eyes and her breathing felt laboured with his rejection. She went to run, falling back on that instinct to get as far away from his as she could. She turned from him and was going to make a break for the door but his hand wrapped around her wrist kept her in place.

"Rory," he said and something in his voice made her stop and turn towards him. "I'm sorry I left you before."

She blinked through her tears, eyes narrowed in confusion. She shook her head and licked her lips. "You were hurt, I get it," she assured him, really not blaming him for leaving, knowing how she would have reacted in that situation.

"I shouldn't have left," he continued his voice growing determined. "I shouldn't have avoided you. I just didn't want to believe it; I guess I was in denial or something. You're just so much better than that, kitten."

Rory felt her heart leap with that one word, thinking maybe not everything was lost. "Finn?" she questioned, hesitantly moving closer to him.

Finn smiled charmingly and raised his free hand to her cheek, wiping away her tears and then cradling his chin in his hand. He looked deep into her eyes, his own full of adoration.

"Wanna start over?" he asked finally and Rory stood still for a moment, frozen, but then her lips widened into a huge smile and her blue eyes lit up brilliantly.

She wasted no time in throwing her arms around his neck, her legs coming up to curl around his waist. Finn held her to him, lifting her easily and tightening his grasp around her to bring her closer.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so protected, confident enough to let someone know her feelings and let someone into her heart. But she knew Finn wouldn't hurt her.

He would take care of her, protect her against everything. He knew her fears and everything she'd been through in the past, he knew he better than she knew herself.

He knew her past and her present and although she didn't know a lot about his past, she could see their futures.

And she felt it really was theirs, not hers or his, but theirs.

They were in this together, from the beginning to the end.

_---  
Once there was darkness, deep and endless night  
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light  
---_

**_AN: Wow! I can't believe this is actually over! Yes this was the last chapter to this story. This is actually the first story I have finished so far, I'm very proud. I hope you guys like this and loved the story as much as I did. Thanks so much for all the support, you guys made this story what it is!_**

**_Hugs and Kisses,  
-Ella. _**


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